Shadowplay and Hurricanes
by CosmicStorm14
Summary: This is a ShikaTema fic, following their volatile on/off relationship, which also includes encounters with other characters in later chapters. Some fluff, mostly smut. Alternating POV. Each chapter is a full short story in its own right, so read all together or pick a chapter you like. Rated M for naughty language and scenes of a sexual nature from the start.
1. Lust and Lunacy

_I'll try to get a new chapter up every week so please favourite/follow. _

_This one is a full story when read altogether, but individual chapters will make sense on their own so skip forward if you like._

_This doesn't specifically parallel the original timeline or story arcs, but consider it set early Shippuden era, pre-war._

_Reviews make me all warm and fuzzy inside, and your feedback will help make each chapter better than the last, so do it!_

_(psst! For anyone looking for a particular pairing: Shikamaru/Ayame - chapter 4, Temari/Kakashi - chapter 5, and Temari/Ino - chapter 6) _

* * *

><p>It had taken many days of travelling to reach Tanigakuri. Two squads had travelled from their homelands into the Land of Rivers to meet here for a straight-forward intel mission; one from the Leaf and one from the Sand. Now that these villages were allies once more, it was common for them to come together for such missions and the Hokage and Kazekage had ensured that their squads would have a place to stay together when they arrived at the Village Hidden in the Valleys. Night had almost fallen by the time the two squads had found each other and checked in to the inn at which it had been arranged they would stay.<p>

Shikamaru turned the two room keys over in his hand. The one marked with blue enamel was for a bunk dorm; the one marked with red enamel was for a twin suite. _Oh brother… only just arrived and things are already going to be troublesome._

"What's taking so long?" Temari of the Sand left her comrades in the reception hall to join Shikamaru at the front desk. "Is there a problem?"

It was the smartly uniformed lady behind the desk who spoke. "I was just explaining to your comrade here that it is customary to split groups of shinobi by rank when assigning rooms. We have prepared a dorm room for your general squad and a twin suite for your two squad leaders." The lady pretended to shuffle the papers on her desk as though she were intentionally trying to hurry them along. "Most of our guests are very happy with this arrangement."

Temari folded her arms and rolled her eyes. It had been a long day and this was the last thing she needed. She spoke through gritted teeth. "_We_ are the two squad leaders."

The woman flustered, and Shikamaru spoke up to fill the silence. "You didn't think it would be more appropriate to split us by gender?"

"It is customary…" she repeated, and trailed off. "If this is a problem for you, Miss, I have another bunk dorm available but that would be a considerably smaller and less – "

"No." Temari interrupted. "There's no way I'm moving to a worse room. We'll just have to make the best of it."

She swiped the keys from Shikamaru's hand and strode back to her squad, but not before spitting a comment like venom in the boy's ear… "Shikamaru, I swear that if you've done this on purpose you will not survive the night."

Was his company really that bad? A part of him was quite looking forward to the evening – the two of them didn't often get to spend much time together – but he would never have gone behind her back about such a thing. She was gone before he had the chance to tell her that he had nothing to do with the arrangements. And besides, she wouldn't have believed him if he had. This one was scary even when she was in a good mood; it would be a fruitless effort to argue with her now.

The shinobi gathered up their packs and headed to their rooms. The rest of the travelling ninja trailed into their bunk dorm to unpack their supplies, while Shikamaru and Temari took their room along the hall. Thankfully they had been given separate beds at least. It was a modest accommodation but there was more than enough space for the two of them – a bed at either end of the room and en suite bathroom. The others would have to use a shared shower room and the squad leaders were glad they hadn't opted to swap to a bunk dorm like them. Temari chose the bed by the windows looking out over the Land of Rivers. Night had already fallen now, and lights twinkled below them in the valley.

Shikamaru resigned to the other bed and threw his pack to the floor. He took the opportunity to rest and lay on his bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

"My squad are going out for barbeque tonight_." I'm obviously only inviting her to be polite and stay on her good side_, he convinced himself. "Did you want to come?"

Temari was hungrier than she cared to admit, and perhaps it might be nice to have some down time with the Leaf Shinobi. Sometimes it felt as though there was no break from the missions these days. "I'd like that, thank you."

After freshening up, the teams headed out into the Village and soon found a place to eat. They gathered around the long table and relished the opportunity to speak of things other than their missions while enjoying a warm meal and plentiful sake. The refreshment instantly cheered Temari's spirits. When everyone was full, Shikamaru called in a further round of the rice wine for his comrades.

"OK, everyone." He addressed the group. "I need you all showered and breakfasted by 7.30am tomorrow. We're heading out at 8am, so don't overdo it tonight. Agreed?"

"Yes, Shikamaru," chorused the group, between sips of wine and frustrated mumbles.

"That means you, Uzumaki."

"Aww, Shikamaru!" Naruto complained. "I won't sleep in, honest!"

It was good to see Shikamaru finally starting to take command of his squad so naturally. He had come such a long way since they first met in the Chuunin exams. When they had first fought as youngsters he had been so lazy, so distracted. Now it seemed like the others really looked up to him. _If he spent half as much time working as he did staring at clouds, he could achieve so much, _she thought. Temari didn't realise she'd been staring at him until he caught her gaze and she looked away quickly.

"Are you alright, Temari?" Her brother was seated next to her and noted her sudden embarrassment.

"I'm fine, Kankuro," she cleaned her greasy hands on a napkin and stood from the table. "But I think I'm going to get an early night. We have a long day ahead of us again tomorrow and this sake is going to my head already."

The first to retire for the night, the kunoichi from the Sand walked back to the inn alone and used her assigned key to get back to her room. It was not a luxurious suite, but she had stayed in much worse. _And with much worse company_. While she had the room to herself, she took the opportunity to shower in privacy. She left her clothes, black and lilac kimono and a rouge sash, in an almost-neat pile by her bed and went to explore the bathroom. The inn had provided more than enough free soaps and the water of the spacious shower only flashed cold for a second before coming through warm against her skin. She stood there under the stream of the water for a few minutes, alone with her thoughts, before actually scrubbing her skin and washing her hair. The water falling down around her toes was grey with dirt, and it seemed impossible to get the last of the filth from under her nails. _How do kunoichi like Ino and Sakura manage to stay so beautiful whilst out on missions_?

When she was satisfied, Temari turned off the shower and stepped out onto the cold floor. She wrapped a clean towel around herself and fluffed another one through her blonde hair, beginning to dry it. She came back into the bedroom, followed by a cloud of floral-scented hot steam.

"Sorry, I didn't see… Do you want me to…?" Shikamaru tripped over his own words. She hadn't heard him come in over the noise of the shower, but he was sat on his bed in only his underwear, obviously trying to avert his gaze.

"No," she laughed at his awkwardness. Usually such a composed man, now he seemed flustered over something as simple as her bare shoulders. "You don't need to go, calm down." She opened the bag by her bed and took out her night clothes. He turned away while she let her towel fall to the floor and slipped on a strap-shouldered top and long pyjama pants. She had never been one for nightgowns.

"It sounds as though you all had a good evening," her words sounded sarcastic, though she hadn't meant any offense. There was only a single wall separating their room from the dorm next door and already she could hear muffled chattering and commotion from the bunks.

"Yeah, it's nice for the two villages to come together again. Didn't you? Have a good evening, I mean."

"Yes," she replied, "and for the same reasons." Her words hung in the air for a second while she gave him a chance to consider what she had meant.

She thought she saw him try to suppress a smile before he stood from his bed and headed to the bathroom to clean himself up.

He didn't seem shy of his own semi-naked flesh at all, and Temari had to force herself not to look. Her willpower wavered though, and she couldn't help but steal a glance at him as he passed her. It was the first time she'd ever seen him bare chested. _No wonder he isn't shy about his body. _He passed by close enough that she caught a hint of his musk over the floral scent of her shampoo and noticed a whisper of dark hair on his chest.

"You know they're all making jokes about us sharing a room together." His words snapped her out of her trance. She heard him turn on the taps and open a miniature tube of toothpaste from the bathroom.

"They are?"_ I'll give them something to joke about. Shut up, Temari, that's the ricewine talking._

"Probably. After the last time you came to the Leaf, they wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

Now that he mentioned it, she did recall Naruto Uzumaki suggesting that they were on a date while they were both simply liaising for the last Chuunin exams. "Let them think what they want." She called through to him. "If they want to waste their time over such silly notions then they can." That's all it was: a silly notion.

The others were still making a racket next door. They would all be in a terrible state the next morning. When Shikamaru was finished in the bathroom, he returned to his own bed and sat on the edge for some time, as though he were trying to decide whether there was anything he had left to do before the night was over.

"We should probably… get some sleep," she decided for him. They flicked off the lamp lights and settled into their respective beds for the night.

Except Temari couldn't sleep. She was tired, yes, but her mind was racing and her body was frustrated. She was sharing a room alone with a guy who she was sure liked her, while they were both slightly inebriated and no one would ever find out if anything happened. Of course her mind was going to stray. But she didn't need _him_, she just yearned to have someone close to her. It had nothing to do with him.

Temari had only ever been with one man. Her first truly sexual encounter was with her brother Kankuro's girlfriend of the time, a delicious betrayal that she suspected he had never fully forgiven her for. But her first experience with a male partner was with a boy from the Sand village, Daimaru. He was alright. The experience had been pleasurable in a way, and they had been together more than once, but she did not like him so much as she wanted the experience being with a man. He just happened to be around and willing at the time. And it was the same now. Her body was a pool of lust and loneliness which clouded her mind. She couldn't be with Shikamaru. No good would come of it.

As far as she knew, Shikamaru had never been with a woman. But then, she really didn't know him that well_… I wonder if he and Ino have ever_…? No, she couldn't imagine him ever making the effort. And with his idiotic ideas of gender roles, how he had protested about having to fight a girl when they had first met in the Chuunin exams, and how embarrassed he'd been when she'd come to save his ass against Kayuya when they were younger. He hated being protected by a girl. _He probably believes that a guy should always make the first move, too. He'd hate it if a girl emasculated him by taking the first step_. A cruel grin spread across her face where she lay.

* * *

><p>The squads had just one full day at their mission and, if all went without complication, would spend their second night in the inn before heading back to their respective villages the following day. The two squad leaders barely acknowledged each other all day, leading their respective teams quite separately. They would be in different lands by the next day and a part of him was desperate to make the most of their limited time together, but he didn't say a thing. Not yet. Not in front of everyone.<p>

When they were back in the room together that night she didn't know how to act around him. Would he expect her to make a move, or was his silence a way of ignoring her and hoping she'd leave him alone? She couldn't read his face at all. Temari was always so sure of everything, and anxiousness was an alien feeling to her. How powerless this boy made her feel. She hated him.

She went to the bathroom to change into her nightclothes in privacy and he was sat at the end of his bed when she returned, barefooted with his jacket cast to the floor but otherwise fully clothed. The room was dark aside from one small lamp and it was just enough to light up his eyes as he glanced up at her. Was that an invitation? _Of course not._ She kept her mouth shut and her eyes on the ground as she walked across the room and past his bed to her own. Suddenly, she found herself unable to step forwards. Her feet were planted firmly to the ground and she was completely paralyzed. Behind her, Shikamaru was slouched over his hands as he signed his Shadow Possession Jutsu.

"Where do you think you're going?" He spoke in a hushed tone. Just as well - the walls here were thin. She heard him stand from his bed and walk up behind her. She was released from the jutsu but stood still of her own accord now, waiting for his move. He wrapped his arms around her waist, his large rough hands feeling her stomach through her night clothes. His breath was warm against her ear as he pressed himself against her.

"So what, are you taking me hostage now?" She smirked, secretly a little proud of him for his bravery. She wondered if his heart were pounding as hard as hers was.

"Only for tonight." His voice was deep and husky as he spoke in a half-whisper against her ear. "You'll be free to go in the morning."

She turned to face him and one of his hands fell to her hip while the other brushed a little hair back away from her eyes. Their faces were just a fraction away from each other, her nose almost touching his. He held her eye contact. _Only for tonight_… his words echoed in her mind. _Might as well make the most of it_. Her heart thumped like a drum in her chest as she rose very slightly onto her toes to allow her lips to touch his. Their kiss was soft and slow for a fraction of a moment, before Temari took hold of his belt and pulled him tight against her. Her tongue explored his mouth with urgency, her yearning made all the worse by the feeling of his hand pressing hard on the back of her neck, pulling him into her.

She pushed him backwards onto his bed, barely losing contact with his lips as she did so. He sat on the edge and she climbed to kneel on the mattress, straddling his hips and slouching to kiss him. The stubble on his cheek bristled against her fingers, his hands following the curve of her back. Her skin prickled at the light touch of his fingertips and her breath quickened, her core tightening. She lifted his shirt over his head and bent to taste his collar bones, still salty with the heat of a day's hard work.

He wrapped his hands tight around her body and lifted her from his lap. He always came across as listless, so much so that she had almost forgotten how strong he could be when he intended it. He spun to push her onto his bed and the springs creaked loudly as she landed.

"Shhh!" She snarled into his ear. He was already above her, his teeth against her neck. "My brother is in the next room."

"Let him hear," came the reply. _The insolent little bastard_… He may be leader of his team from the Leaf but she was certain he was no match for her puppet-master brother. _He'd be more cowardly if it were the Kazekage listening through the wall instead_. Still, something about his threat – or maybe it was his mouth on her neck, or the muscles of his back tensing under the hands, or his erection pushing against her thigh – excited her. The guy was a total dick, but maybe this was exactly what she needed.

In the little space between his torso and hers, she let her hands explore his body. The little patch of hair between his pecs, and another below his navel. How his skin followed the contours of the valleys between his lower abs and the top of his hips where his belt lay. He was better looking than her previous partners, she couldn't deny that.

He used one arm to steady himself above her and the other to touch her body. At first he was really quite gentle, scratching his nails across her shoulders and squeezing at her waist. He slid a hand under the lower hem of her top and pushed his arm across her skin until her clothing was displaced far enough that he could reach her breasts. She wore no bra under her top and he wasted no time in gripping her breast tight in his hand, skimming a thumb over her nipple. He swapped between the two of them as though he couldn't decide which one he preferred.

She wriggled underneath him until she had space to lift her top up over her head completely and drop it to the floor at the side of the bed. Both shirtless, Shikamaru moved his kiss to her cheek, her ear, her neck, pressing the muscular weight of his torso against the plump warmth of her chest. His skin was warm and rough against hers, and she fancied she could feel a little sweat beginning to prickle on his back.

His hands found their way to the edge of her pyjama bottoms and the garment was slack enough that it took no effort to begin to slip one hand underneath them.

She stopped him there with a firm grasp to his wrist.

"And I always thought you were the type to take things slow," she teased him, trying to make her voice sound composed though her lungs heaved with adrenalin.

He gave the subtlest shake of his head, his eyes dreamy as though he were drunk on only her smell. "I've been taking things slow since the day I met you."

Had he really wanted her for that long? She put the thought to the back of her mind and lifted his hand from under her pyjamas to the buckle of his belt. "You first."

He obeyed, unbuckling his belt and dismounting from her to stand at the side of the bed and drop his trousers. He did so slowly, letting her watch the silhouette of his body in the darkness, stood only in his boxers which suddenly appeared to be much too small for him. She shuffled to kneel up on the bed and reached out to take a handful of fabric from the edge of his underwear to pull him towards her. She was surprised to feel his hands go immediately to her cheeks to draw her into a deep, wet kiss instead of him grasping for her body straight away. She pulled him close against her flesh and traced the outline of his erection through his underwear. His mind suddenly elsewhere, he stopped kissing her as she touched him, his mouth agape and held still, quivering slightly, so his lips just barely brushed against hers. She could feel his breath, hot and sharp, and even in the darkness she could see enough of his expression, his eyes closed, to notice him contort and quake as her touch sent shivers up his spine. _And_ _they were only just getting started… _this was exactly the power over him that she needed.

He opened his eyes to see that cruel smile of hers on her lips. It looked as though she'd love torturing him if he let her get away with it. He pushed her hand away from his crotch and made some space for himself on the bed alongside her. She reached to pull a blanket over the two of them, an action which he may have protested against in favour of being given full view of her body, were he not so preoccupied. He gripped her thighs through her clothing and at last she shuffled her weight to allow him to undress her completely. He followed suit with his own underwear and with their clothing giving a light thump on the floor in the quiet of the night, the two were naked together under their blanket for the first time.

Much to his frustration, she kept her legs locked tight together so he was forced to pacify himself with the feeling of a soft tuft of light hair between her hips until she would allow him to pass any further. _She won't keep this up for long_. He could sense her body tensing and her breath was fast against his skin, the air under their blanket already steamy with heat despite the cold air of the night. She'd give into him soon, he was sure it. _Even Temari isn't that stubborn._

He didn't attempt to stop her from playing with him as much as she wanted. She had her hand firmly around the shaft of his penis now and the sensation was made all the more pleasurable by the knowledge that she could tear the appendage from his body at any moment were she so inclined. She began to move her hand up and down his cock painfully slowly, her other hand tracing the edge of his abs as they lay side by side. He had thought of this moment more times than he could count and now that it were really happening, having this kunoichi's hand on him instead of his own, it was almost unbearable.

At last, she relaxed her legs to part them enough for him to slip a hand between. The flesh of her inner thigh was so tantalisingly soft that he couldn't help but squeeze at the feminine plumpness that had always lain just out of reach and out of sight, even in her shortest of clothing. A pause to collect his nerves, and his hand was on her lips. Blushing with a hint of peach-fuzz hair, he navigated her crevices and pushed his fingers inside her. Her wetness slipped over his fingers and she held him tight against her, gasping voicelessly close to his face. She was so… _warm_. Her thigh was raised up against the blanket and she caught his eye contact for a long moment, her blue/green eyes somehow still bright even in the darkness. He was just beginning to settle into a rhythm when she reached down to remove his hand from inside her and pushed on one of his shoulders to ask him to lie back on the bed.

She was laid over him now, her breasts gentling falling to rest against his chest, their legs intertwined so that he could feel her heat on the top of his thigh. She writhed above him, her fingertips finding grip in his shoulders while his hands smoothed over her back, feeling the curve of her thick naked ass rise and fall against his body. He felt her shift her weight onto her hands as she lifted one knee to cross over his leg until she was straddling his hips, his erection pushing upwards against… against…

"Have you ever…?" She trailed off, looking down at him through suspicious eyes.

His mouth opened but he could find no words, and slowly shook his head to answer her question. _There's that sadistic smirk again_. She pressed an index finger against her own lips before using the same hand to cover his mouth. _Of course, paper thin walls_. _How much noise did she expect he was going to make that she thought this was necessary_? Now was not the time to question her. She kept one hand firmly over his mouth and sat up to allow herself access to his penis with the other. She didn't break eye contact for a moment while she raised her hips above his own and guided his erection directly underneath her. For a horrific second, she hovered there with his tip of his cock getting just a taste of her warm wetness before lowering herself onto him.

The groan that escaped him was loud, even with the precautions she had made.

"Shh!" She scolded him, pushing down hard with her hand to press the back of his head firmly into his pillow. He had his hands on her hips, feeling her body rise and fall above him and with her sat up over him, just enough light filtered into the cave of their blanket that he could make out the beautiful sight of what was happening between them. Her breasts bounced as she rode him and he raised a hand to feel one as it moved, then migrated across her stomach, her waist, her collar bones, the edge of her jawline.

Her spine straightened as she threw back her head to flick her hair out of her face, removing her hands from his mouth as she did so. She leaned backwards a little to support herself by putting two hands on his knees. This new position made the blanket fall from her shoulders and suddenly he had a perfect view. With no pressure keeping his head down, he shuffled underneath her to lift his head and watch. Catching him staring at her body, she flashed him a wicked glare and began to slow her movements. She rolled her hips in a teasing little circle and rode him slowly, lifting her body until he was almost completely outside of her, then lowering herself down around him so slowly that he could feel every inch of friction against her tight walls. She sat low against him, her cheeks and thighs pressing down against his skin, his flesh almost completely inside her, and began to grind her hips slowly. He tried to buck underneath her but she disallowed it. _So cruel_…

She must have read his anguish, because a strange expression came over her face. It was a smile, but not her usual smile. This one was childlike and playful. _The closest Temari has ever come to a giggle_. She dismounted from him swiftly and he grasped to pull her back - y_ou can't stop now_. But she had no intention of ending things there and met his pleading hands with hers, pulling him from the bed and to his feet. She led him to the flat-topped chest of drawers and hopped to sit on them, facing him in bare flesh. He skipped any kiss or embrace, and moved immediately to nudge her knees apart. She put up no resistance and the chest was an easy height for him to slip inside her with no real effort. He wrapped his arms around her and grasped her buttocks to pull her forwards onto him and began to thrust himself inside her at a quick rhythm, her legs gripped around his waist. The staggered breath escaping her open mouth was music to him and he put his teeth against her neck. Her want for silence only inspired a yearning in him to hear her scream and it took all of his restraint not to bite down hard into her skin. _He_ was in control now.

He felt her hand brush past the skin below his navel. He took his mouth from her skin and stood up straight, glancing down to see her touching herself. Her legs spread on either side of him, her fingers against her clitoris, her bare breasts quivering atop her heaving chest. The tiny gasps she gave as he pushed himself deep inside her, the heat of her wet pussy and the smell of sweat and sex all over them… Shikamaru took a mental picture. The memory of this moment would have to keep him satisfied while they resided in different lands. They would have to part ways first thing in the morning. _Don't think about that now_…

Her breath was already quickening now that she was providing herself with a little extra stimulation. He could see her abs tensing sporadically underneath a womanly layer of cushioning on her belly. Her orgasm came as a surprise to him. Her whole body tensed as she held her breathe for a few moments, then relaxed all of a sudden and melted into his embrace. Her nails dug into the flesh of his back as she pulled him tight against her with her free arm and her walls clenched around him as he pushed himself into her, over and over. The exasperated moans coming from her mouth were strained as though she were attempting to suppress them.

"Shh!" he mocked her, and received a sharp tear into the skin of his back for his insolence. Her body clenches softened as her orgasm began to subside and he could feel her muscles quaking, her jaw quivering slightly as she kissed at his shoulder. It was more than he could bear. He held out as long as he could, until he was sure she was satisfied, before pulling himself out of her and using his own hand to finish himself against her. His hot cum spilled out over her stomach, dripping into her navel, and down over her thigh. It looked beautiful, but his legs were so weak from the release that he could barely stand. He leaned forwards against her, smearing his slippery fluids between her torso and his. A few seconds to recover his breath, and it was over.

Temari pushed her sticky friend off her naked body and hopped down from the chest of drawers. Her knees were still rubber, not quite obeying her commands, and her veins flowed not with blood but with fire. She composed herself, and wandered shamelessly bare skinned across to the bathroom for tissues. She picked a roll, and returned to their room to find Shikamaru still bent over the chest where she was left him.

She whistled to get his attention, as though he were a dog. "Wake up." Her voice was as normal again. She took a handful of tissue for herself and threw the rest of the roll to him. It hit him in the ribs and tumbled to the floor. She continued to wipe her belly and thighs dry of cum and sweat and watched him finally return to his senses and pick up the tissue to clean himself with.

"That was fun," she spoke nonchalantly as though they had just completed a game of Shogi. She cast her dirty tissue to a bin and stood with her arms folded, nude.

"Yeah." His response fell out of him as a sigh. _Is that all he had to say? "Yeah"? What a dick_. "We probably… shouldn't… do that again though."

"Obviously," she rolled her eyes at him. "One time thing. You're welcome, by the way."

He laughed a sneering "ha" through his nose. "_I'm _welcome? _You're_ welcome."

"You think you were doing me a favour just now?" She watched him take his underwear from the floor at the end of his bed and begin to cover his nakedness.

"Come on. You needed that just as much as I did."

"You're awful. I knew this was a bad idea." She bent to pick up her own nightclothes now, slipping into her pyjama pants.

"I won't tell anyone if you don't," he offered.

"Damn right, I'm not telling anyone!"

He gave her a horrible half-smile through narrowed eyes. It made her feel dirty which was probably his exact intent. "Are you ashamed of me, Temari?" He seemed to savour every word.

She snapped at him through gritted teeth, "of course I'm fucking ashamed of you!" He laughed to himself and she hated him for it.

They slept alone in their own beds that night. As far as anyone would be aware, they had shared a room to be polite to the inn staff and economical to their respective villages. They had completed their mission and gone their separate ways with no complications to speak of and that would be the end of it. No one had to know that they had simply taken some frustration out on each other, and it certainly wouldn't be happening again. But some things never do quite go to plan…


	2. Something Rotten

"As you are no doubt aware," Tsunade began, "it is the Hidden Leaf Village's turn to host a summit of the Kage this tri-month."

Tonton squealed in Shizune's arms and she tried to hush the animal to let her Hokage speak.

"Most arrangements have already been made for the event itself so all I need of you is to help prepare the hall for the welcome ceremony."

Shakamaru, Chouji, Neji and TenTen listened to her telling them that they were to work under the command of one of her personal assistants and were not to go blabbing about the details.

"This is only an informal meeting but with a number of Kage the same room, best not to let the news reach the wrong ears."

She would meet with the Kazekage and Raikage the following evening. It was such a hassle to host such an occasion. Much easier when she went to them and didn't have all of the paperwork to do.

The shinobi filed out of the room to set about their preparations, and Tsunade was alone with Shizune and the pig.

"Did you see Shikamaru's face when I told them that Gaara will be accompanied by his sister?"

"I can't say I noticed a change, my lady." Shizune spoke politely; humouring her Lady's little game while the pig wriggled again in her arms.

"Exactly. He tried so hard to look like he didn't care. I doubted my hunch after the last time I gave them an opportunity to admit their feelings to each other. Allowing them to share a room on their mission and nothing happened? I thought _maybe I'm wrong, maybe they're just not that into each other_." Tsunade grinned as though Shikamaru's reaction today had proved her right all along.

"Perhaps they aren't, My Lady. They've both been very clear on the subject in the past."

"We both know that what people say and what they get up to when they think no one is looking are completely different things! Just remember how Asuma and Kurenai used to be. They kept their secrets hidden better than Shikamaru and Temari do and now…"

She couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence. "The point is, he clearly wants her. We just need to give them time, and a little push in the right direction when necessary."

* * *

><p>The hall that they had chosen for the ceremony was lined with lights and bells and banners by the time the team had finished their preparations. It was high summer, one of the longest days, but the foul weather and heavy clouds meant that the daylight was lost before the evening began. Long tables were arranged to stretch away from the front stage where the Kage would sit. Not all of the townspeople were invited to attend, but select Shinobi and their families. Shikamaru was there with others of the Nara clan but sat with his young friends for the festivities.<p>

She was sat by her brother's side on the grand table, dressed all in ceremonial robes of lavender and crimson. Her fair hair was set in its usual high tails, but the tendrils framing her face seemed more artistically woven that usual. Her clothing was formal but still practical for a bodyguard of the Kazekage, and mesh armour showed around her limbs. Temari. It was the first time he had seen her, aside from in his fantasies, since the incident in Tanigakure and it took an embarrassing amount of mental effort to convince his companions that he was focused on their conversation and not their visitor from the Sand. For most of the ceremony, he was able to turn his back to the front of the hall so as not to be tempted to stare, but this was impossible during the Kage speeches.

Life had not been remarkable since their mission to the Land of Rivers. The young Nara had continued his training and traveled on a number of missions but these tedious activities only served to distract him from watching the summer skies and finding worthy shogi partners. He had opted to spend more time in female company and it had not gone unnoticed by those close to him that he had become more confident and forward in speaking with women. But his endeavours had led to no more than the odd kiss and fumble and Shikamaru decided that he wasn't much interested in women after all. No one was worth the trouble.

But then there was Temari.

She was by now well versed in the formalities involved in being one of the Kazekage's personal bodyguards. She sat patiently cursing the whole business while her brother gave his speech. They hadn't been the closest of siblings growing up but she was rather proud of him and the respect that he had at last earned their family. Though they were no longer in immediate danger from the townspeople of the sand, Temari couldn't help but consider them to be threatening in a different form. They held the kind of danger that was no longer spat at them in the streets, but was now veiled behind a shroud of fear and false worship. A part of her suspected that their people truly liked them no more than before, but simply hid their hatred better. Perhaps that was one reason she had not taken a lover from the sand since her first, though a number of suitors had offered. She did not trust their praise and preferred to save her reputation as fearsome, not conquerable.

Temari held her expression of elegance and nobility as best she could through the ceremony and their meal, but the atmosphere became more informal after these traditional pleasantries and she allowed herself a little alcohol and informal conversation. As the other of the Kage's escorts began to mingle with the people of Leaf Village, so did she and soon found herself kidnapped by young Leaf Kunoichi. The girls invited her to sit and drink with them and it would seem rude not to, so she obliged. They swept her away to their table, next to the boys who clustered alongside.

"Temari is back!" Ino announced to the rest of their table. The young men chorused their hellos to her and she nodded a greeting to them in return before they returned to their conversations. Her nod of greeting was aimed at no one in particular. _Certainly not at Shikamaru_. She had been cruel to him when they had last parted company, and had regretted it, but she would not make the first step to make amends. If he wished to apologise then she would accept it but the stubbornness in her prevented her from saying anything first. And besides, in such a busy gathering it would draw far too much attention to the two of them. Still, she couldn't help but keep an ear to the conversation on his side of the table.

"How are things going with you and Shiho, Shikamaru?" came fragments of their talk. "She's really into you, you know."

_Who is Shiho? That girl from the Cypher Core? Not that is matters or affects me in any way, of course,_ thought Temari. _If he's found a nice girl then good for him. I don't care_. A pang of jealousy lingered in her gut.

"How about you Temari?" Sakura asked her. It seemed the topic had spread to the female side of the table while her mind was wandering. "How's your love life treating you back in the Hidden Sand Village?"

Shikamaru excused himself from the table. He interrupted Temari saying "there's really not much to tell" to whisper to Chouji that he was fetching them more alcohol. In reality, he just didn't particularly want to hear her answer. Temari would have no trouble in finding other men if she pleased and that was not something that he wanted to picture.

He picked his way through the crowd, helloing where appropriate until he reached the bottle bar set up by the entrance to the kitchens. The Leaf had put on a fine spread for their guests and there was both plentiful food and drink to go around. He stood leaning his elbows on the bar. He was in no hurry to return to the table and had left before he had even noted what anyone was drinking.

"Can't stand to look at me then, huh?"

He hadn't heard her approach but spun around when he heard her voice. She was wearing that awful smirk of hers. Had he had more to drink, her expression may have made him turn his smiling face away, bashful. As it was, he met her gaze and answered with whatever vague truth he could find.

"I just don't want anyone to get the wrong idea; for anyone to think I'm interested in anything you have to say."

"We're allowed to enjoy each other's company, Shikamaru," she took his sarcasm with humour and joined him to lean against the bar. "Besides, it might look more suspicious is it appears as though we're intentionally avoiding each other."

He couldn't disagree, so changed the subject. "What are you drinking?"

"Umeshu, thank you."

"Really? You always struck me as a neat Shochu kind of person."

She contorted her face in mock disgust. "I can appreciate the taste but not the strength. I've always considered Shochu to be a spirit that tastes better on someone else's lips, wouldn't you agree?"

_Is she flirting with me? _

She got the attention of the bar worker and he ordered some Chuhai to share around the table, an umeshu to keep Temari happy and a bottle of shochu for himself. It felt strange to see her fully clothed now that he knew her skin. How confidently she went about her life, hiding that body underneath her clothes the whole time. The breasts he had kissed, the thighs he had squeezed. They were so close to each other now but he was unable to touch her where prying eyes might see. They held a secret together. He faced the bar again, pressing his crotch against the wood in the hope that it would hide the sudden growing in his pants.

"Charge these to the Nara clan." He told the bar person.

Temari gave a kind of amused noise through her nose at his generosity. "To the Kazekage." She then addressed her companion, "these are on me."

He nodded a smile of thanks to her, trying not to think about drinking his spirits directly off her naked flesh. Now that the transaction was completed, there was no reason not to return to their table.

"It's…" he began tentatively, "it's good to see you again, Temari. I feel like we parted on bad terms last time and I'm sorry."

"We both could have handled the situation a little better," she accepted his apology, "but it's good to see you too."

They returned to friends who were more drunk than the ones they had left earlier, but that was no bad thing. Shikamaru and Temari sat politely at their opposing ends of the table and enjoyed vulgar games and clumsy storytelling.

Temari stood to excuse herself to the bathroom and Shikamaru couldn't help but wait a few moments before following her. None of their friends were sober enough to have noticed a pattern. He hovered in the hallway out of sight of the event until she returned.

"Can't a girl use the bathroom around here without being followed?" She said to him coldly. After the way he had ignored her earlier in the evening his move was unpredictable but not unwelcome. She was beginning to tire of the bustle in the main hall, anyway.

"I just wanted to say-" he began. He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Temari had never met Shiho before and guessed that she was probably quite a pretty girl when she hadn't been drinking. But as she was now, throwing herself onto Shikamaru like he was a pillow, was not a good first impression. Temari folded her arms and stood back to enjoy the spectacle.

"I've been looking for you all over!" She said into Shikamaru's face as his eyes widened in a little panic. It reminded her of the look he had given her in Tanigakure when he had first been confronted by her in only a towel.

"Well, here I am!" He half-hugged her back, clearly humouring the girl. "How's your evening?"

They exchanged an awkward small-talk. _He's too kind to ask her to leave_. Shikamaru might be thoughtless, sexist, stubborn, but underneath all that was a kind, honest heart. It was a quality she wasn't used to seeing in people.

"I'm going to go and pee now!" Shiho announced. She gave him a clumsy kiss on the cheek and took herself away. Shikamaru was clearly embarrassed, scratching the back of his head with one hand.

"Heh. That was Shiho…" he told her, as if it explained anything.

"So I see." She played with him. "You didn't tell me you were such a stud these days."

"Ha! In your dreams."

"Every night." She joked. She held his eye contact for a moment before he pushed his face close to hers and spoke into her ear.

"You wanna go somewhere?"

_Yes_. His face lit up with a drunken smile and he darted his gaze from side to side to check they wouldn't be watched before taking her hand.

"This way," he led her forwards, headed for a rear exit where they wouldn't have to pass through the ceremony hall and could avoid suspicious eyes. Temari wasn't used to being led by the hand, or led by anyone at all for that matter. But she let him guide her and they swiftly made their way outside.

It was raining. Warm, heavy droplets thundered against the ground, sending a cloud of dust like steam up into the air from the impact so the whole village smelled of bricks and wet fragrant grasses. Shikamaru stole her through the back alleys away from the main road, avoiding any lights he could see and looking for shelter from the rain. Temari held his hand tight and used her other hand to pick up her robes to give herself greater freedom of movement as she ran. Even as fit as they both were, the adrenalin of the moment and the drink in their veins meant that they were both breathing heavily by the time they found any shelter. Shikamaru led her down an alley with a dead end, the rear wall of it covered by a canopy roof which left a small patch of ground pale and dry in contrast to the rest of the rain-soaked pathways. The short corrugated piece of roofing was slanted so that the rain which landed noisily on the metal proceeded to flow down between its ridges and form a small waterfall of heavy splashes just at the edge of the shelter. The pair passed under this curtain of rain into the dry corner and scattered a small group of cats which were waiting out the storm here. The skin on Temari's bare arms was cold and clammy with water. It hung in her hair and dripped down over her face.

Shikamaru turned to hold her as soon as they were both inside and kissed her hard. He slid one hand behind her head to protect her from the rough stone work as he pushed her up against the dirty wall of the alley. Her hands were all over him immediately, revisiting the contours she had come to know the last time they had seen each other.

"You're not the reason I came back here to the Leaf Village, you know," she told him between heavy breaths, pulling away from his kiss.

"I know," he returned his lips to hers, but she wasn't finished and pulled her face away again.

"And I wasn't jealous of you being with Shiho."

"Shut up."

He kissed her again on the mouth, keeping her tongue too busy for words. She could try to convince him (and herself) that she didn't want him if she felt the urge to do so, but they both knew it meant nothing. She wouldn't be here if she didn't want him.

Her hands were on his crotch, feeling his erection pushing against her through his trousers. She only gave the lightest stroke of his length and grip of his girth but it was enough. He bent slightly to grab a handful of her robes to pick them up to where he could slip a hand underneath to reach her thighs. It wasn't difficult to navigate around her mesh armour to reach between her legs. She felt warm here, despite the rain, and Shikamaru tortured himself by running his fingers along the edges of her lips through her underwear. He would have seen that she was wearing a thin, lacy teal-green piece had it not been so dark. When it was too much, he let his hand migrate to the small of her back and pulled her hips towards his. The sash around her waist was tight, but there was enough room to slide his hand downwards underneath the hem of her underwear to feel the skin of her bottom and squeeze.

He took her by the shoulders and turned her, pushing her forwards against the wall. She lifted her hands and rested her forearms against the stone, propping herself back a little from it to stay comfortable and give room enough to roll her head forwards and watch him explore her body from behind. He pushed himself against her, kissing at the side of her neck and taking a little of the skin of her shoulder between his teeth. She heard him undo the buckle of his belt and stepped her feet a little further apart to allow him space to pull her underwear to one side with his fingers. A flash of cold air brushed against her bare flesh but it was soon replaced with the feeling of him against her. His erection was unclothed now too, and she stood up on her toes to make it a little easier for him to enter her.

He used one hand to guide himself inside her and made that gasp she remembered from their first encounter. He pushed into her hard enough for her to feel the need to grit her teeth. They had moved so quickly, she was still very tight and his bulk stretched her, the impact of him pounding against her cervix so hard that she could feel her gut sloshing with the evening's consumption.

The clash of the rain on the metal above them echoed across the walls; a violent backdrop to the snarling of his breath beside her ear. The air was cold and thick with the smell of mud and lemongrass but the darkness was comforting. Although outdoors, the two felt in total privacy, in their own little timeless bubble. Someone could come down this road and find them at any time but they wouldn't, not in this rain. There was no longer only a thin wall to protect them from being overheard and Temari allowed herself to make some noise into the darkness.

His hands fell on her clothed hips and pulled her back against him so that she had to lean forwards to brace against the wall to keep her balance. He leaned over her as she was bent forwards and gripped the collar of her robes, forcing her shoulders downwards with his weight. The first time the two had come together, she had made a point of being in control until she had got a measure of him. Now that she trusted him to be good to her, she could let herself enjoy being at his mercy. It was a position she so very rarely found herself in and she wished she didn't enjoy it as much as she did.

He slowed his rhythm and pushed his fingers into the clothed flesh of her waist, of her breasts, while he caught his breath. He slid a hand underneath the lower edge of her robes and forwards to the front of her underwear. They were already pulled aside and it was not difficult to lift them to where he had access to her clitoris. He began to rub her there, as he had seen her do to herself in Tanigakure, and her knees shook. She became immediately louder as she had done at the inn on their first encounter. It was too much for Shikamaru's drunken mind.

He sped up his movements again, still touching her, but soon had to take his cock in his hand as he pulled out of her and spilled cum over her. It was dark, but he could see it splatter across her skin and drip down across the floor and the edge of her robes. He was suddenly very aware of his own heavy breathing, his body rushing with adrenalin and a heady euphoria. He might have apologised if Temari hadn't turned he head to give him that look – raising her eyebrows with a proud smirk. She didn't look disappointed that he'd finished before her at all, only pleased with herself that she'd had such an effect on him.

She turned her body to face him, letting her messy robes fall again to cover her modesty. He wrapped his arms around her and took her in a tight embrace which melted swiftly into a penetrating, urgent kiss. He would not leave her unsatisfied. His hands found their way to her naked thighs once again and though his body was shivering with the aftershock of his own release, the very smell of her close to him was more than enough to inspire his hands to find her secret places again. Her depths were relaxing and becoming more and more slippery against his fingers. He experimented with his touch. Now his mind was less clouded by lust than before, he could read the subtle changes in her expression, the involuntary twitches of her body. He was learning how to touch her without her having to speak.

But Temari was not the type to be afraid of making her desires known. She stopped him with a hand tight around his wrist, and glanced her eyes downwards, running a tongue along the bottom lip of her open mouth. The little nod she gave was the confirmation he needed, and he stooped to kneel in the dirt before her. She leaned back again the wall and rested one foot upon his thigh which spread her legs just enough for him to duck his head under her robes and put his tongue to her clitoris. He let his fingertips play around the small patches of skin still sticky with his cum along the edge of her distorted underwear. She was becoming loud now, moaning and spitting expletives, though he couldn't tell if it were the acoustics of their unorthodox location or what he was doing to her that made the noise fill his ears like it did. He could smell sex on her and she had a hand pressing his head down, forcing him against her. The pressure reminded him of her pushing a hand over his mouth at the inn, and he knew that she controlled him and he loved her for it.

He licked at her clitoris, the soft skin of her inner thighs against the stubble of his chin, and drew his fingers around her lips and into her depths. It was harder to judge her reactions from this position, but not impossible. He felt her whole body stiffen and her lungs become quiet and he knew she was on the edge of her orgasm. It wasn't a surprise this time around. She pushed against his head so hard that he could hardly move and her wetness clamped tight around his fingers as she came. Her body convulsed, and she let out the sound of his name to the darkness, grinding her hips against him. He kept at his task until the clenching around his fingers slowed and it felt as though she was beginning to breathe more normally.

She bent to put a finger under his chin and lift his face away from her. She smiled down to him and he stood slowly until they were face to face again. He ran his fingers through her hair and took the side of her face in his hand to kiss her, letting her taste herself on his mouth. Their kiss soon disintegrated when each of their lips were involuntarily parted by smiles. Shikamaru nodded forwards, to touch his forehead to hers, their noses brushing.

"I think I got your robes a little dirty." He told her. She was speckled with white, and smothered in dirt from the wall. His knees her mucky from the ground too, and both of their hair was out of place, their faces flushed.

"I know," she replied quietly, her voice softer now but holding her usual sarcastic content. "That wasn't a very good idea, now, was it?"

"You mean-" he interrupted his own speech to peck kisses onto her face, "me cumming – all over – your dress – or you – bringing me – out here – in the first place?"

She pushed him away of her to straighten her clothes, laughing. "Nothing about you is a good idea. And _you_ brought _me_. It was your fault."

"You wanted it too; I was just the one who mentioned it first."

He was right, of course, though she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of telling him that. "We probably shouldn't make a habit of this, though."

He shrugged and brushed the dirt from his knees.

The rain was still falling heavy on the ground. Neither of them had much of a concept of time but opted to head back to their ceremony as quickly as possible, hoping their disappearance had gone unnoticed. Shikamaru would return first, saying he had been asked to collect more supplies for the evening should anyone ask. Temari would follow a little way behind so they wouldn't be seen returning together, saying she had been making sure all arrangements had been made for the Kazekage's sleeping quarters.

They assessed each other's appearances as being suitable enough to return and Shikamaru gave her a final kiss on the lips before he fled through the rain. She needed to wait a moment to give him time to get back before her, so stood alone with her thoughts. _This can't be good for village relations_, she laughed silently to herself. But it was over now, and they needn't worry about the complications of sneaking around again. Perhaps it would be healthy for her to take another lover from the Sand, to take her mind off Shikamaru. What was it about that boy that rotted her mind?


	3. Ashtray Heart

It was many months before Temari returned to the Leaf Village. The leaves were starting to brown and the days were already growing shorter. She was to be placed in the Land of Fire for some time and her youngest brother had been conversing with the Hokage to arrange for her a semi-permanent place to stay. She had been accompanied by Kankuro and Baki who had helped her with her things and stayed a day while she settled before returning home.

The thought of Shikamaru had taken to the back of her mind since she had arrived. She had thought of him on occasion while they had been separated but had no way of knowing how he had been in the time since they had last met so she found herself churning the same questions over and over in her mind. Had he been with Shiho? Had he decided to stick to their decision not to see each other anymore? Had he told any of his friends about them being together? In any case, there was no point worrying herself over the thought of him when she had her relocation and her new missions to think about.

That was until she bumped into Kiba and Shino at Ichiraku Ramen. She had never been able to read Shino so would not have noticed if he had been acting strangely. Kiba, however, she was sure was slightly drunk in the middle of the afternoon and his unbrushed hair and bloodshot eyes suggested that he had been for some time. They were only too pleased to welcome her back to the village and spend lunch in her company. Neither of the boys made any snide comments or jokes about her which made her suspect that they knew none of the more intimate details of her last visit, though she couldn't be sure without asking directly and that was not something she was inclined to do. Instead, she asked them about the smell of sake on their breath. Kiba explained to her that it had been Shikamaru's birthday, and they had thrown him a little party at his quarters of the Nara household seeing as his parents were away for a little while.

It was no use trying to stop herself for very long. Before the day was out, she gave in and cursed herself for turning up at his door.

* * *

><p>"You didn't tell me it was your birthday," she said to him as he opened the door, bleary-eyed as Kiba and Shino had been.<p>

He invited her inside and offered to pour her a round of tea. The floor was littered with rubbish and thrown cushions, empty bottles and spilled snacks, and he had to clear a space for her to sit as he brushed all of the mess from the table onto the floor. She thanked him for the tea and made herself as comfortable as she could in his home. There were others of the Nara clan at home, but Shikamaru, Shikaku and Yoshino's quarters shared no common room with the others. This meant that when his parents were away, Shikamaru had their place to himself. The front of the house faced the paths back into the village and gardens tended by the elders of the clan. The rear of the buildings faced the Nara Clan Forest, inhabited by deer and marking the boundary to the Leaf Village. It was a relatively isolated home. The tranquillity, the solitude… it suited him. Even when it did smell of sweat and stale alcohol.

"I didn't even get you anything." She had worried about their conversation being awkward but the words came easily enough when she reminded herself that they were, first and foremost, friends.

He coughed to clear his aching throat. "You didn't need to. I didn't even know you were coming."

"Did you get anything nice?"

"A few bits, I don't really go in for birthday presents…" He had been gifted new clothing from his mother, new kunai from his father, and the rest of the Nara clan had pitched in to purchase him shogi set with jade pieces on a jet board. He was grateful for the generosity, of course, but had never considered the anniversary of a birth to be much of a reason to celebrate.

"I know the only thing you want," she eyed him, and he held her gaze a little longer than necessary as he tried to read what she meant. She had been so bold the last time they had met, is she really offering…? He was wrong. "You want to do absolutely nothing, and spend all of your time staring at the clouds and ignoring your responsibilities."

He laughed and looked away to hide the flash of embarrassment on his face. "That sounds pretty good to me."

"Why don't you?"

"Why don't I what?"

"Take a week off. Do nothing. You deserve it."

"You mean just… not leave the house? Tell everyone I'm sick or something?"

"You don't need to tell anyone anything. Worry about that later. Just do nothing."

He thought about this for a moment. How tempting it was, the thought of taking some time off to ignore the world. Could he really get away with that?

"Of course you can," Temari assured him. "I'll do nothing with you. Let's take a week out."

"I have responsibilities, Temari," he protested. "I have to think of my duties to the Leaf Village."

"And what about the Leaf's duties to you? You know you don't have to be at Tsunade's beck and call twenty four hours a day."

"People will notice I'm gone."

"So what? Kankuro and I used to do it all the time. When everyone was worried about _Gaara this_ and _Gaara that_, we used to sneak away and no one would care. Everyone's too busy with their own issues."

Shikamaru considered this. The Leaf wasn't in any immediate danger and he did deserve a break, especially around his birthday. He might not be so lucky as to get such an opportunity again for a long time. He pictured telling Temari _no_ and going about his week as normal, then pictured taking her up on her offer and doing nothing but watching the skies with her for a few days….

"You are such a bad influence on me," he told her with a smile. She had twisted his arm.

She agreed to help him clean the house after his friends' antics and stay with him, ignoring the world, until his parents returned home the next week. Perhaps her company could serve as a sort of gift.

Taking the time to speak to him when not drunk or sexually frustrated was a nice change of pace in their relationship. She came across scattered polaroid pictures of the events of the evening before and she collected them to pile alongside the camera atop his little stack of gifts. He took the time to show her what was supposed to go where, what could be thrown away and what needed to be cleaned, and she was happy to do most of the work for him seeing as he was obviously a little worse for wear. When he blinked, he held his eyes shut for so long she wondered if he were falling asleep and after every five minutes of cleaning, he would need to take a rest on the couch to settle his head. The Nara house being full of medicines, he was able to cobble together a resolve of sorts to settle his stomach, but energy still escaped him. He was not the most motivated person at the best of times, especially not when harbouring a self-inflicted illness.

Shikamaru had protested against Temari's idea to open the windows to let some fresh air in, but he had not won. As a compromise, they kept the shutter-blinds closed over the open windows to keep the light low so he could forget that it was daytime in the rest of the village. With their light coming from some lit oil lamps instead of outside, it was easy to be oblivious to the fading daylight. Day faded to evening, then to night.

After his very busy and tiring day of not leaving the house and watching Temari doing all of his work, he was eager to sleep. Temari was kind and offered to stay on his sofa, but that wouldn't do. She was a guest in his home and, as a female guest, surely the chivalrous thing to do was to give up his bed for her. Neither of them mentioned the idea of _sharing_ his bed exactly, but instead made a fuss of collecting all of the pillows and cushions in the house to make the living room as comfortable as possible for whoever would draw the short straw. Soon, the sofa spilled down across the floor which was carpeted in blankets and softness from wall to wall.

"I'll sleep here, then," Shikamaru decided, landing his backside in the sea of cushions stubbornly. Temari joined him.

"I can't possibly throw you out of your own bed. _I'll _sleep here tonight."

The pair discovered that after this last little burst of energy neither of them particularly felt like sleeping, so they both stayed for some time together on the bed that they had made on the living room floor. It wasn't like it had been before. The last few times they had spent together, they had been swept along in the moment and it had all felt very urgent, like satisfying an itch. Here in his home, there was no hurry. They had all of the time in the world. Though comfortable and peaceful, it made getting close to her more difficult. He could no longer blame his actions on frustration or intoxication and if he wanted to be close to her then he would have to admit that he might actually quite like the girl. And he _did_ want to be close to her.

When the night pushed them in the direction of sleep, he took off his shirt before lying back onto the pillows. He lifted one arm to offer her a space to rest against his shoulder and she took him up on his kind offer. She nestled in against his chest and his arm lowered to lay a hand around her. They lay in silence for some time in the dim flickering light, Temari tracing her finger around the blush of hair that lay in a ring around his nipple. The quiet was broken occasionally by the hoot of an owl or the bark of a deer but otherwise the room was filled only with the sound of their breath. He kissed her on the top of her head.

"What's going on with us then?" Temari heard his heart pound faster as soon as the words fell from his mouth, as though he was already regretting letting them slip.

She swallowed. "Do we have to have that conversation right now?"

His only reply was his racing heartbeat, his chest thumping against her ear. She carried on. "I don't think what we do needs to have a definition. I enjoy your company, I enjoy your body, but I'm not looking for..." she tried to avoid using the word _commitment._ "We shouldn't have any kind of relationship at the moment."

She listened to his heartbeat slow until at last his answer came.

"OK." His tone didn't give away whether this was the answer he was looking for. "So this week… sex?"

She laughed to him, "yes." _Of course that was what it all boiled down to for him_. He must have been waiting all evening to ask.

"Cool. Kissing?"

That one came as more of a surprise. "If you like."

"Can I tell you you're pretty and stuff?"

A surprise again, but not an unwelcome one. "Look," she used a decisive tone, as though setting out the boundaries of a contract. "This week you can do anything you like. If it feels right, do it. You want to call me a whore and fuck me against the wall? Do it. You want to treat me like a princess and pretend we're in love? Do it." _That would let her off the hook_. "This week doesn't count." Sure, she no longer had alcohol as an excuse, but now she could say that she was simply playing along with his game if she showed any weakness. Why did she even consider it a weakness? Why was holding him close to her so much more terrifying than fucking him?

"Good." He broke her train of thought. "Because I have been dying for a smoke all day."

"You don't smoke." She lifted herself from him as he shuffled to rummage through his pockets for Asuma's lighter.

"I don't smoke in front of you," he corrected her. "But this week doesn't count." He flashed her that teasing smile and lit up while she rolled her eyes at him.

"Did you think I'd lose respect for you if I knew? Because you'd be right."

"You know I don't care what you think of me," he lied. "And you never had any respect for me to begin with."

Unable to tell if he was joking, she let his words hang in the air. He took a deep drag of his cigarette, filling his lungs with the smoke before letting his chest deflate and leaning his head back to watch the clouds escaping his mouth play in the air currents and gradually disperse to nothing. When he lifted his head again, it was to look at her.

"Can I see you with your hair down?"

_Well it is his birthday_… She reached to pull out each of her hair ties. Usually she even slept with her hair up to avoid having to redo it the following morning, and her tangles tugged at her scalp. Even without their restriction, her hair stuck in its assigned bunches until she shook her hands through her locks to let them fall together. He was watching her the whole time.

She nodded to him. "Your turn."

"That wasn't the deal." He inhaled again.

"Are you kidding? That's not fair."

"Yea well… life isn't fair." He was toying with her.

"It's your _turn_!" She lunged for him and his natural instinct to cover his face only turned his ponytail towards her where she could catch it.

"Ow! OK, stop it!" He gave in and held his cigarette between his teeth while he took his own ponytail down. He looked very different with his black hair hanging down around his face. "Happy?"

_Very_.

She was sat upon her feet now, her hands on her knees, and he settled back down onto the pillows, one hand behind his head and one knee raised. It was the position he usually took when he was watching clouds, except this time he was watching her. He considered her with a steady gaze, and Temari thought that in the moment he looked very like his father. Perhaps it was how the nicotine steadied his nerves or how he could finally relax now he didn't have to hide his craving, but holding a cigarette made him seem older somehow. It was still a detestable habit, of course, but if he wanted to destroy his own body then that was his problem, not hers. As far as she was concerned, his body only had to hold up for a few days.

"What else do you want to see?" She offered.

"I'd quite like to see you with your lips around my cock."

His confidence took her by surprise and a quiver of shock ran down the back of her neck to between her legs.

Only when she rose slowly to her feet did he break eye contact to look upon her body instead of her face. She untied her sash first and dropped it to the floor, adding the mix of coloured fabrics that were spread out below them. He lay still, moving only to bring his cigarette to his mouth, and watched her as though she were an art exhibit to be pondered over. Were she not so comfortable in the dark, soft atmosphere they had made for themselves, she might have been self-conscious under his gaze. But not now. She undid the brooch fastenings of her dark kimono and let that, too, fall to the ground. It puddled around her feet and she found herself stood in only her underwear, and semi-see-through mesh armour. She continued to slowly remove her armour and then her bra, the whole time watching him watching her.

The lamp light flickered in a way that picked out the shadows around him so sharply that she couldn't be quite sure if she could see the folds of his trousers moving. He must have seen her glancing there, because as soon as this thought crossed her mind, he moved a hand downwards to touch himself there through the fabric. It felt good. She was used to making men bow to her or run from her, but making them hard for her was a whole different kind of power.

She stepped out of the crumpled mass of her clothing, now with only a single garment on her body. It happened to be a pink pair. She had never been the kind of girl to enjoy pink things in general (and had actively avoided them when she was younger in case people might make assumptions on her character based on her aesthetic preferences) but found that this particular strong fuchsia shade quite suited her. By the time she was on her knees and close to him again, his cock was in his hand and she watched his erection grow. She leaned forward onto her hands, letting her breasts fall just a few inches out of his reach. She could smell the salty warmth of his body from here and put a hand to the top of his thigh to ask him to let her take over.

His erection pulsed hard in her hand, thick enough now that she could only just touch her thumb to the tip of her middle finger when she squeezed. She traced her hand up and down the length of him, watching her own fingers manipulating his soft, malleable foreskin, covering and then revealing the head of his penis. She held her face low and close to her work, partially to tease him and partially so that she could have a little time to watch. She drew a second hand across his crotch, brushing against a thicket of black pubic hair and then down to feel his balls. He moved a leg to give her greater access, but his undone trousers meant that his movements didn't really help. She paused her work a moment to pull his clothing down to where he could kick it off, before carrying on where she was before.

A small bead of precum shone in the lamplight at the tip of his erection and she pressed a thumb to it. It stuck to her, so she spread the glistening lubrication around the head of his penis and heard him swallow loudly at the feeling. She lowered her head and opened her mouth slightly, but stopped just short of his flesh to look up at him. His expression begged her to carry on and she couldn't help but give an evil smile. She put her tongue out towards his cock but stopped just short of it again. This time he let out a pleading moan and bucked his hips forwards. She took him into her mouth, but from the base first. Her hand continued to play with him, while her tongue spread her wetness around his girth, kissing and licking from the base upwards and stopping just short of his head. She had never done this before, and wanted to take her time to enjoy it.

When his cock was wet and slippery under her hand, she lowered her fingers to squeeze around the base of his erection and took the top of it into her mouth. There was no chance of his full length fitting into her mouth so she didn't attempt to test her limits yet. How undignified it would be to gag. Instead, she let her tongue play around his tip while she let her hand provide him with friction where it was too low for her lips to reach. She enjoyed listening to the noises he made because of her gift to him, and got into an easy rhythm of pushing her tongue around him as she took him into her mouth then sucking hard as she pulled away. It was a surprisingly enjoyable sport (though a little tough on her jaw) until she felt a hand land softly on the back of her head and try to press her down. She slapped his arm away and stopped her movements to scowl at him. He was still inside her and when she was sure he was looking, she pressed her teeth lightly against his erection and peeled back her lips in a snarl to give him a view of his most sensitive flesh at her mercy between her jaws.

With him shown his place, she carried on her rhythm, speeding up whenever his noises indicated he was ready. He must have enjoyed something about being at her mercy because her wrist wasn't yet sore by the time she felt his body stiffen, and heard his jaw click with tension. A single strained word forced out between his tight breaths asking if she was ready – _how sweet, he doesn't want to take me by surprise_ – but of course she couldn't reply in words. She glanced up to catch his eye again and pushed her tongue to the back of her mouth to save herself from choking, carrying on her task as well as she could.

His cock jumped in her hand as he came, so she could almost feel cum pulsing through it before it even reached her mouth. Her face involuntarily screwed up at the taste of it, hot globs of cum pooling around her tongue and filling her mouth with its strange slimy/fizzy texture. When she was sure he was spent, she forced it down her throat and ran her tongue again over the head of his penis to clean up any that remained. He flinched at this, obviously over-sensitive with post-coital release, so she sat up and let his erection subside on its own. Her mouth was empty, but the taste of it still hung in her tongue like chillies and peppermint. He smiled to her and she returned it, wiping the moisture from around her mouth onto the back of her head.

"Happy Birthday," she said to him, crawling forward to kiss him on the mouth. He seemed to be trying to hold his lips shut, pulling away from her slightly, but she forced her tongue through his lips to make him taste himself as he had done to her the last time they had been together.

* * *

><p>The morning came before either of them had even noticed that they had fallen asleep. Temari woke first, but stayed where she lay in a half-dream until Shikamaru began to stir. She thought he had woken once in the night but realised he was only talking in his sleep, mumbling something about exams and clouds. This time she knew he was really awake when she saw his eyes open. It was the first time they had ever woken up together.<p>

"What do you want to do today?" She asked him.

"Nothing."

The blinds remained closed all day and the couple barely moved from their "bed". Neither did they dress, wrapping in blankets to venture to the kitchen for food, before returning to the living room floor. She made a point of removing all of their clocks from sight so they would have no inkling of time passing. He showed her his new Shogi board to pass the time, and they had a few games. She was one of very few people who could challenge him and he loved her for it. He was one of very few people who could beat her and she hated him for it. The smooth, jade runes were clouded with a smoky translucency and laced with little trails of white and green. The polished jet board underneath was lined with white quartz to mark the parameters of the boxes.

They played with the polaroid camera and added more pictures to his collection. She agreed to be the subject of the images on the condition that he showed the pictures to no one. He requested some of her naked body being covered only by her fan, but the rest were spontaneous. She lay naked on the cushions, her hair spread out messily behind her, while he sat above her with the camera in one hand a cigarette in the other. He tapped the cigarette to allow ash to fall onto her body, dirtying skin between her breasts. Her only reaction was to place a hand affectionately on his thigh and he stole a picture of her like this; her gently smiling eyes in the top of the frame, her naked chest in the lower half.

They fell into a slow sex which merged seamlessly into sleep. And so the time went on, the two slipping between love, sleep and play, with no concept of time passing or any life going on in the outside world. Spending this kind of time together, there was no room for any shame. She didn't worry about pushing out her chest around him, he didn't worry about sucking in his gut around her. There was no escape from being immersed in each other's habits; how Temari snored when she slept on her front and how Shikamaru would hum the same fragments of songs over and over, always out of tune. _This is what it would be like if we were really together_, thought Shikamaru.

* * *

><p>On the second day, they decided to leave their cave in search of food. Shikamaru knew there was a little convenience store on the edge of the village, so they could stock up on supplies there with little risk of being discovered. At first Shikamaru offered to go alone, but Temari refused. They decided to share a shower, to wash the stink of stale sweat and sex from their bodies but ended up in the steamy room much longer than anticipated. He got distracted by playing with her breasts after they slipped around under his grasp, soapy and warm. She played with the streams of water trickling down through his chest hair. They tried to experiment with sex in the shower but found the water surprisingly non-lubricating and after nearly knocking each other out a few times by slipping on the tiles between bursts of laughter, they decided to give up and do it on the bathroom floor instead.<p>

Their bodies blushing with heat from the room, bruises stood prominent against her chest, his shoulders, her back, his thighs. They had been careful not to leave any marks where they couldn't be hidden under clothing but it gave Temari a kick to mark her territory with her teeth in this way, and of course if wouldn't be fair if he wasn't allowed to return the favour. In the adrenalin of the moment the pain felt amazing and inflicting damage like this was just another way to vent some frustration on each other.

They dressed and put each other's hair back up to an acceptable standard. It seemed a lot of effort to go through now that they were used to spending so little energy in a day, but perhaps this irksome errand could be one of their games as well. It was Temari who suggested they wore each other's underwear to leave the house in.

How strange it was to be back out in fresh air and daylight. But it still didn't seem as though they were really a part of the Leaf Village again yet. It was as though they were walking through the town in a dream. They passed a few villagers who nodded good day and the two were trying so hard to look as though nothing was out of place that they must have appeared really quite obviously hiding something. They were almost at the store when they bumped into a familiar face. _How troublesome_.

"Hey, you two!" Naruto was as energetic as ever, bounding over to them. "Where are you going?"

"My uncle is making kenshin soup and ran out of shiitake mushrooms," Shikamaru lied, hoping his face didn't show it. "I offered to collect some more for him, and happened to bump into Temari."

"Oooh," the jinchuriki spread this word out slowly, flicking his narrowed gaze between the two of them as though he was concentrating hard to try to work out a puzzle. "Are you two _sure_ you're not a date this time?"

Temari rolled her eyes at him. "You need to drop that ridiculous thought, Naruto."

"She's right," Shikamaru agreed, feeling the satiny lace of Temari's pink underwear between the cheeks of his butt, "there's nothing going on between us. You're imagining things."

This seemed to satisfy Naruto's curiosity and he left them to their errand, wishing Temari good luck in her time in Konohagukure.

* * *

><p>On the third day, there was a knock at the door. They were going to ignore it, but when the unexpected visitor heard no sound from the house, he knocked again and called through the keyhole.<p>

"Shikamaru!" It was Choji. "Shikamaru, are you in there?"

Begrudgingly, they allowed their solitude to be interrupted and Shikamaru pulled on a pair of trousers while Temari snuck off to another room, out of sight.

"Just a second," Shikamaru called to his friend. Choji _was_ his best friend after all. He went to the door and was careful not to open it too wide, so not too much of the unusual living room was visible.

"Where have you been?" Choji had a look of genuine concern on his face and Shikamaru felt a sudden sting of guilt. He scratched the back of his head, searching his mind for an excuse but found none. "You know Tsunade's been asking after you?"

"Yeah, sorry Choji, I've been kinda busy." It was hard to look his friend in the eye but when he did glance up, he saw Choji looking behind him into the house.

"Why is it so dark in there? Is everything alright? Are those _bruises_?"

Shikamaru couldn't find any words, but didn't have to. Choji's eyes widened, his jaw falling open as he stared behind his friend into the house. Shikamaru didn't have to turn around to know what he was looking at.

"Hey, Choji," Temari said sleepily. She had covered her nakedness only with one of his shirts, just long enough to reach the top of her thighs, her bare breasts pushing forwards against the fabric. She wandered across the living room to Shikamaru's bedroom and landed so heavily on his mattress that sound of springs bouncing was clearly audible from the front doorway. "Shikamaru! Come back to bed!"

Shikamaru stood frozen to the spot watching Choji's wide eyes dart between his friend's naked torso and where the girl had just disappeared into his room, the realisation of the situation visibly washing over him as he began to blush red.

"You…! You…?" Choji couldn't finish his sentence so Shikamaru interrupted.

"Yeah, I would appreciate it if you could maybe… keep this to yourself?"

But Choji looked as though he was dying to speak. "How long…?"

"It's a one-time thing. It's no big deal. But the point is," he hurried the conversation along. Choji was his best friend but he could explain all of this to him in greater detail later. "The point is that I'm doing fine. Thank you for your concern. And I'll be back to normal in…" he suddenly realised he had no clue what day it was or when his parents would be returning, "two to three days."

Choji politely took his leave and as soon as the door was closed behind him, Shikamaru's attentions turned to Temari who was now letting out a burst of laughter from his bedroom. He ran across the darkened, messy room to her, and found her with her face pushed into his pillows, trying to suppress her laughter.

"What did you do that for?" He shouted at her, trying to sounds serious despite the smile spread across his face.

She looked up from the bed, still dressed only in his shirt. Her jade eyes met his jet ones with such youthful brightness that she looked almost childlike.

"I thought it would be funny," she said to him, knowing she was right.

He pounced on her.

"What if he tells people?"

"That's the fun of it," she explained. "Doesn't it feel naughty and exciting to have this little secret bubbling so close to the surface?"

He considered this for a moment. "I guess so. You mean, knowing that we could be discovered at any moment?"

She nodded to him and he kissed her deeply. He picked her up from the bed and led to her his window. Pulling up the blind, she saw that the view here was of the paths from the Nara Clan household that lead back to the Village. Paths that any of his family, or villagers, could walk along at any time. He picked her up to sit her on the windowsill and stood between her legs as he had done that first night on the chest of drawers in the inn in the Land of Rivers. She removed his shirt from her own body so that her naked back rested against the window, and Shikamaru could look over the shoulder to watch the view of his garden path. No one saw them, but he loved that they _might_ have done.

When they were finished, they went to lie together on the bed to recover their breath and Temari wasted no time in sitting above him. She was looking at her fingertips, choosing her longest fingernail. She picked the ring finger of her right hand and pressed it into the flesh of his abs, so hard that it broke the skin.

"Ouch!" He called out. "Be careful, I'm post-coital."

"Shush." She felt his skin peel and stick under her fingernail, little hot red jewels swelling up along the lines that she was scratching. He moaned and gritted his teeth against the pain, but didn't try to stop her. Soon, it was finished. Across the flesh of his abs, carved into his skin, was the word "TEMARI."

* * *

><p>On the fourth day, the novelty of boredom and freedom was beginning to wear thin and for the first time, they opened the blinds by the windows and tried to tidy up the place a little. The house was more messed up now than it had been the day after Shikamaru's party. Temari suggested they do a load of laundry and began collecting together some clothes from the floor before Shikamaru mentioned that he wasn't exactly sure how to the washing machine worked.<p>

"So do you just buy new clothes whenever your old ones get dirty or what?"

"My mother always does it." He didn't sound like he was ashamed of the fact at all, so she felt the need to tell him how wrong that was.

"Are you serious? You're an adult now and your mommy still washes your clothes?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

"I feel so sorry for Yoshino," if Temari ever had a son, there was no way she'd still be doing his laundry at that age. She was angry now, and his apparent indifference only made it worse. "Funny how you won't fight girls because you think we're too weak and pathetic to make it a fair fight, but you're quite happy to let women do all of your work for you so you never have to learn basic human tasks to take care of yourself."

He tried to ignore her outburst, using his gender to explain his ignorance. "Well it's easy for you. You already know how this stuff works; you're a girl."

"I know how this stuff works because my parents are dead." Did he think women were just born with this knowledge? She suddenly wished she had never helped him clean up after his party. It had obviously given him the wrong impression. "I've been looking after my little brothers my whole life. There's no way I'm looking after you too."

"Hey, you don't have to look after me. I just thought that while you're here…"

"While I'm here, I might as well make myself useful? Is that it? I can stick around as long as I can make you cum and clean up after you?"

"I didn't mean-"

"You know what, Shikamaru? For a genius, you're a fucking idiot." She began to rummage through their mess to collect her things and pulled on her mesh armour and sandals.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to go and do my own laundry."

He watched her in a flurry of bottled anger. She had that obnoxious, stubborn look on her face that meant there was no point arguing with her. She had already made up her mind. "You're not coming back are you?"

"What do you think?"

"I thought this week didn't count."

She was already at the door. "Well, maybe I don't want to play this silly little game any more. This could turn into something really unhealthy and I just can't deal with that right now. And you're _disgusting_ when you smoke." She spat the words at him and slammed the door behind her.

Suddenly alone in his house, the walls they had built to protect them from the outside world were crumbling and Shikamaru remembered the mess he was in with Choji, the trouble he'd be in with Tsunade, what his parents would say when they came back. He was angry at himself, and let his head fall against the wall, gritting his teeth. Temari just couldn't help but ruin everything whenever she was around. She was right, their relationship was unhealthy. There was nothing for it but to pick up the pieces and move on. He would explain as best he could to Choji, apologise profusely to Tsunade and clean up before his parents returned home.

In a few hours, the open windows let fresh air banish the smell of smoke and sweat and sex from the house. The bed on the living room floor was dismantled, the whole house was tidied and scrubbed and fresh. It was just like normal. Like the last week had never happened. Shikamaru made himself a pot of tea and lay his cup on the clean table next to the only thing left that didn't have anywhere in his home that it could be tidied away to. He had thrown most of the ones like it away, but just couldn't bring himself to get rid of this particular one. He picked the photograph up, and walked to his room with it. Those eyes like jade looking up at him, one shoulder forward where her arm was reaching out to touch him, the mark between her breasts where he had smeared ash across her heart. He tucked the picture underneath his pillow, and returned to finish his tea.


	4. Wish You Were Here

Choji and Shikamaru were sat on the rooftop, sharing some free time between training sessions together. They were often sent away on missions separately now, so tried to spend as much time together as possible when they were both in the Village. On this occasion, Shikamaru had just been dismissed from Tsunade's office after begging her forgiveness for ignoring her summons recently. At least, he had intended to beg. As soon as he made up some excuse about helping Temari settle into the village, the Hokage had just smiled to herself and accepted his apologies without any further questions. He had expected a punishment from her and receiving nothing but sympathy left him confused and unsatisfied.

Choji, however, was delivering quite an interrogation.

"I've been bursting to tell everyone, Shikamaru," Choji told him, opening up a bag of crisps. Secretly, Shikamaru had been dying to speak too but whether he wanted to brag, or rant, or cry, he didn't know.

"Not without her permission Choji. You know I can't betray her trust like that."

"I know," he resigned, "but nothing interesting has happened around here in so long."

"This isn't even interesting. She just popped in to say happy birthday," Temari was the most interesting thing that had ever happened to him, but that didn't mean it had to interesting for anyone else. It now seemed like it wasn't even important to _her_. "It won't happen again."

"You're a lucky guy, Shikamaru!" Crumbs fell from the shadow of stubble on his chin as he laughed. "Do you think she'd come see me for _my_ birthday?"

Shikamaru's gut leapt. He'd never felt such a strong urge to punch his best friend in the face before. _No. She would never give away her affections like that. She had only done it with him because they were already special to each other_. Maybe he wouldn't be so filled with rage if he actually believed his own thoughts. He remained composed through his anger but his friend must have seen that he wasn't laughing.

"Hey, it was a joke. I just want to know what it's like, that's all."

"It's… good."

"It must have been pretty damn good if she kept you busy for days at a time."

"It's not like we were in bed the _whole_ time." He used the term _in bed_ loosely.

"What else did you do?"

"Nothing. Just sat around talking, sleeping, playing shogi."

"That sounds like a perfect first date for you!"

"It wasn't our fi-" Shikamaru stumbled over his words but Choji seemed to not to notice. "I mean it wasn't a date."

Maybe if it had been a real date things might have been different. Maybe if they'd taken it slowly and he'd just asked her out from the start instead of getting physical right away then it wouldn't have been so difficult. It had crossed his mind before they had first got together, but Temari was scary and he had been cowardly, hoping his feelings would pass. Even if he had been brave, where was he supposed to start? Somehow he thought Temari wouldn't enjoy being given flowers or chocolates like most girls were supposed to, and she would definitely never let him buy her dinner. _You think I can't afford to pay for it myself?_ he could imagine her shouting.

"Well, whatever it was," Choji continued, "I hope you're going to give me all the details."

A part of him wanted to tell Choji everything. About how he first noticed her at the Chuunin exams, how she saved his ass against Kayuya and was there for him when he failed that mission. About how he wanted her there with him when Asuma died and didn't know why. About finally getting close to her in Tanigakure, then again at the Kage Summit ceremony. About how last week had felt like a dream, but he knew it had been real because all of his things still smelled of her. About how whenever she smiled at him, she shone so bright that the rest of the world just faded away into nothing.

He wanted to tell him about the argument they'd had when they last parted. Choji might not know an awful lot about women but he would be honest. Had Temari overreacted, or was he really treating her badly? Could she have been playing a game or testing him like he'd heard women often do, or are they really just no good for each other? Should he fight for her, or let it end so they would never have to hurt each other again?

He mumbled something about her shouting at him, trying not to give away too much. "I guess it was kind of a love/hate thing." Using the past tense was painful, but something he was going to have to get used to.

"Yeah right – you love her, she hates you!"

"Hey, she doesn't hate me…"

"But you do love her?"

"Shut up, Choji!" His best friend's teasing really had cheered him up somehow. He had never been very good at sharing his feelings with anyone - his father had warned him about how all of the Nara men were so emotionally constipated – but he did feel better for knowing Choji was a good friend, and that he could let him in if he felt the need to do so. With the first hint towards his troubles spoken from his mouth, it was as though they couldn't weigh so heavy on his mind anymore. It would be easier from now on. He would get over Temari. It was just a matter of time. He just needed a little time to forget her, some time for her name to heal and disappear from his skin. He was a still a young man, and probably would have become infatuated with any woman who had let him see her naked. Temari wasn't special. _She wasn't special…_

* * *

><p>"What's eating you, Shikamaru?" Days later, he was still trying to clear his head and had chosen to have lunch alone. He asked Ayame for his favourite ramen at Ichiraku, but stirred more of it round and round the bowl than he ate. He needed to get things straight in his head and he wasn't much good at anything else until his mind was clear.<p>

"Ayame, has a guy ever bought you flowers?" Maybe it would be useful to get a woman's perspective. He had never spoken much with Ayame but she had always been kind to him.

She blushed a little, "just once."

"Did you think it was patronising? Like an insult, that he thought you weren't capable of buying flowers for yourself? Did it feel like he was trying to bribe you to be with him?"

"That's a strange question," she laughed at first but then did think it over as a serious question. "But no, not at all. It was flattering. I think that if you like someone, it's natural to want to do nice things for them."

He nodded his head slowly, staring into the bottom of his ramen. That was the reaction he'd been hoping for; the affirmation that he wasn't crazy for wanting to go about dating a girl the traditional way. How he and Temari had gone about it had made no sense and his feelings had been irrational, illogical. But to start out with a normal date and work up to a physical relationship? That was something that made sense. That was how it was supposed to be done. That was what he needed.

"Why do you ask such a thing, Shikamaru? Has some nice boy bought you flowers?"

He couldn't help but smile with her. Ayame was a nice girl. She would never fight over something stupid like laundry. He couldn't imagine her ever even raising her voice. "Ayame, are you doing anything tonight?"

"Well, I am supposed to be working until eight."

"Do you want to go and get food somewhere after your shift? Not ramen – I mean go for a real meal somewhere. With me."

She blushed again and looking him up and down where he sat, flashing him a playful little smile.

"You know what? I can probably get out of here at six. That'll give me time to do my hair."

* * *

><p>He agreed to pick her up, and had decided to dress up for the occasion. His mother had ironed a black shirt for him and he had even found Ino to ask for her advice on flowers. He had opted for a single red rose, and by the time he arrived at Ayame's place and knocked on her door, he was exactly as nervous as he decided it was appropriate to be.<p>

Her father answered the door first and immediately approved of Shikamaru seeing his daughter. He invited him into their home and Ayame joined them moments later. She had made an effort, too, with her chestnut hair put into loose curls and a knee-length green dress with yellow floral embroidery. He had never seen her out of her white Ichiraku uniform, and told her how beautiful she looked. She blushed and thanked him sweetly. He had never called Temari beautiful. She would probably have bitten his head off for considering that her physical appearance was more worthy of compliment than anything else about her, but not Ayame.

Winter was coming to the Hidden Leaf Village, so she put on a long coat and he took her out to a nice restaurant. Working for her father in the ramen shop didn't exactly pay well, and she made a point of thanking Shikamaru for his generosity in taking her out. She held onto his arm as they walked and he enjoyed her acting shy and graceful in all of the ways that Temari didn't. She even let him pull out her chair for her to sit on and took his advice on what to eat and drink.

Conversation was easy and unremarkable. He asked her all about what happened to her mother and told her some of his stories from his missions. She would gaze at him in awe with her big eyes when he told her of the dangers he had encountered and kept making comments about brave and strong he was. At first, it made him a little uncomfortable to be complimented like this – he didn't think of himself as brave or strong, and to let Ayame believe that he was felt like he was deceiving her. He thought of how no one had ever been impressed by him before. Everything he could do, Temari was sure she could do better. But now he was with someone who really did think highly of him. Surely, that should be a good thing? Still, he stayed modest and they enjoyed an evening of learning about each other through conversation, not through sex.

When they had finished their meal, he paid with a generous tip and walked her home the long way back so they could talk arm-in-arm for a while. The air was cold and she held herself close to him. When they finally arrived back at her house, they stopped to say goodbye at the door. It was customary to kiss a girl goodnight after a first date had gone well. He knew very well he wouldn't be following her inside and would be going back to his own empty bed that night. But that was OK. That was how it was supposed to be done.

He put his arms around her waist and she put hers over his shoulders. He could tell she was a little nervous, but brushed his nose against hers and they shared a soft kiss on the lips before she went inside he took himself home.

* * *

><p>They waited two days to see each other again. This time they agreed to bring their own picnic and climb the Hokage monument. Some of the steps were steep and Shikamaru helped his date up the more difficult parts when she got tired. He wondered if the walk was too much for her – forgetting that the general villagers didn't have to be as physically fit as the shinobi – but she ensured him that the exercise was worth it for the view. They sat near the edge of the cliff face, above the huge carved faces of the five Hokage. There were buildings up here, and the walls of the tall Library Archive building sheltered them from the worst of the icy winds. But aside from some scholars working late in the warmth of the library, they were alone up here.<p>

The lights from the village sprawled out below them and he pointed out some of the major landmarks of the village to her. They ate the small picnic that they had carried with them, feeding mouthfuls to each other, and when Ayame expressed how cold she was becoming, Shikamaru gave him her jacket. Temari would never have had accepted a jacket from him. She would have been too stubborn to tell him that she was suffering even if she was losing her extremities to frostbite. As he laid his jacket over her shoulders, she nestled up close to him and rested her head against his shoulder. She smelled different to Temari.

He told her how lovely it was to spend time like this with her and she turned her head to look up at him. He took her face in his hand and kissed her softly on the mouth. How far would she be expecting him to go on a second date? He stayed on her lips for a long time, trying to read her reactions, and considered it safe to put a hand on her waist to pull her closer to him. She was slimmer than Temari, and where Temari's skin sat above a heavy layer of muscle, Ayame's body was softer and more delicate. He felt strong against her in comparison, like he might break her if he wasn't careful.

He let his hand brush over her hips, not venturing under any of her clothing, and moved upwards to lightly squeeze against one of her breasts. She gave a little gasp and pulled his hand away with hers. He had found her boundaries. That was good. People were supposed to have boundaries. This was how relationships were supposed to go.

* * *

><p>"Did you have a nice time with Ayame?" his mother asked him when he arrived home after walking his date back to her place first. He had.<p>

It was already late so he decided to go to bed straight away and turned his light off. He undressed down to his smallclothes and climbed under his blankets. Almost by habit, his hand migrated beneath his underwear and he began to touch himself, thinking about Ayame's breasts, feeling himself get hard. Was this wrong? He knew plenty about being chivalrous while on a date but nothing about what it was appropriate to think about when he was alone. Surely there was no harm in it, and it wouldn't be considered disrespectful to think about her body. He would be happy enough for her to be thinking of him in this way right now. He brushed the flicker of shame to the back of his mind and carried on.

In his head, he put a hand under her top and felt her warm, soft skin against his hands. He thought about undressing her there on top of the monument, with the whole village below. _With Temari below. Shut up_. He thought about Ayame's body against his, about what her face might look like with his cock inside her. His hand continued to work under his blankets. He used his own saliva to lubricate his hand and thought about Ayame's mouth around his cock, her eyes looking up at him. What colour were her eyes, again? Brown? _They'd be nicer in green. Shut up_. Her face blurred into a horrible mess in his mind, so he thought about doing her from behind, hearing the sound of her ass slapping against his hips, listening to the moans she might make. He imagined looking down, watching himself enter her in this way. _Who's name is that carved above your dick? Shut up_!

His grip was tighter than usual, and it almost hurt. He just wanted to finish so he could sleep, but he couldn't. The angrier he got with himself, the more violent his hand became, until his arm was sore. He thought about grabbing Ayame's hair, pulling a handful of it tight to pull her head back as he thrust himself inside her. He thought about hurting her, and hated himself for it.

It didn't help.

Cold air hit his body as he threw his blankets aside and sat up on the edge of his bed. His erection still throbbed between his legs and he knew it wouldn't be satisfied by just his imagination. Should he? If thinking about Ayame's naked body beneath him might be wrong, then this was definitely wrong. But there was nothing else for it.

He flicked on his smallest lamp and fell to his knees on the floor of his room to open a low cupboard and took out one of his storage boxes. He rummaged fast through one of his storage boxes in the semi-darkness. He could barely see a thing and his hands were still clammy and clumsy as he discarded handfuls of objects from the box. At last he came across what he was looking for and turned to see it in full view underneath his lamp.

On his knees on the floor, he crouched over the image of Temari's dirtied breasts and put his sore hand around his numb erection again. The wet sound of his own hand pleasuring his cock was disgusting and every heavy breath through gritted teeth was a betrayal. He studied the image of the nipples that he had sucked on, the collar bones that he had bitten, the lips that he had kissed, and he came.

* * *

><p>For their next date, Shikamaru had invited Ayame round to his house. He met her at the edge of the village and walked with her up the path to the Nara Clan household, through the gardens. She expressed an interest in seeing the deer in the forests around his home and he offered to show her one day.<p>

His parents had kindly gone to have dinner with other members of the clan so that their son could have some privacy, and he made the two of them a round of tea to drink. He had seated her in their living room while he went to the kitchens to boil a kettle and thought of whose lips had last touched these tea cups. _Shut up_.

It was the first time she had been to his house so once they had finished their tea, he gave her a quick tour. He showed her around the study where he had fucked Temari on his father's desk, the bathroom where he had fucked her on the floor, the kitchens where he had fucked her on the counter tops, the view of the gardens from his bedroom window where he had fucked her hoping someone would see them together. _Shut up_.

They sat together on his bed discussing one of the paintings on his wall, but he was distracted. He couldn't stop himself from glancing over and over to the cupboard which held the photograph, as though it might somehow jump out of its box and show itself to Ayame, ruining everything for him just like Temari herself had a habit of doing. After abusing her picture, his relief had been unsatisfying and filled him with self-disgust. He had thrown the picture across the room and paced up and down until he had calmed down enough to try to sleep again. He glanced up to the wall that he had punched into in his frustration. If Ayame asked why it was cracked, he didn't know if he would be able to think up an excuse. She didn't ask him about the wall, but was not completely unobservant or oblivious to his discomfort. They kissed a little on his bed, but she interrupted it.

"Are you OK?" She asked. "It feels like you're not really into this."

"No, that's not it," he wanted to tell her that he _was_ into it, but knew if would have been a lie. "I just haven't been sleeping too well, that's all."

"Alright," she said, although it didn't sound as though she truly believed his answer. She took her hand from him and sat a few inches away on the bed. "But I'm not imagining it, am I? I've had a really nice time but it seems like you might have invited me up here because you felt like you had to."

"What? No, I don't mind." Even as the words were still spilling from his mouth, he knew it was a stupid thing to say.

Ayame closed her eyes to sigh, and then looked at him with a warm smile. "I need someone who _does_ mind. I need someone who wants to go into this with everything he has. Someone who can't wait to see me and never stops thinking about me. That's not you, is it?"

Shikamaru shrugged. She was right. He wasn't obsessed with her like that. Not with _her_.

"That's that, then. I've had a really nice time with you, Shikamaru." She didn't sound angry at all. Was she breaking up with him? He couldn't deny her reasons, but he found it hard to imagine any relationship ending so amiably. "I'm glad we gave it a shot."

"Me too," he finally managed. "It's been fun. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry!" She leaned forward again to hug him. "If you ever want a discount on your ramen, you know where to come."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and stood to gather her things. It was so easy. So painless.

"You're a really nice person, Ayame," he told her sincerely. "You know that?"

"That's very sweet of you to say. But somehow I get the feeling that "nice" isn't exactly what you're looking for."

He hugged her goodbye at the door and watched her walk slowly back down to the village. Shikamaru was alone with his thoughts again.

* * *

><p>"Do you have any dirty clothes, sweetie?" Yoshino called to him from the other side of the house. "I'm putting a wash on."<p>

He hated how she would shout through the house to him, and took himself through to the kitchen to find her so he could speak with her face to face.

"Actually Mom," he began, "could you maybe teach me how the washing machine works?"

"Of course, Sweetie. Why do you want to know?"

"I just think it's about time I learned how to take care of myself."


	5. Wicked Games

Even in winter, the Leaf villagers made an effort to fill to their little town with life and colour. The hallways leading through the Hokage's offices were lined with seasonal plants with colourful leaves and bright little berries. Such decorative displays were rare in the Sand where the few herbs that could thrive there were precious and scarce. One of the things Temari enjoyed about visiting Konoha was being able to admire all of the flowers that bloomed here.

She was stopped now, looking at one of the displays hung from the wall of the hallway. She had already collected her work from the Hokage and was in no rush. In fact, this last week or two she had been happy to take things slow with her work, allowing it to take up as much of her time as possible. It kept her mind occupied and where once she might have been keen to finish her tasks and enjoy her downtime, now her work was what she enjoyed the most. Not because she had any particularly interesting projects to be working on, but because having free time left her feeling lost. She had been invited to spend time with Ino and Sakura on a few occasions, but for the most part she wasn't entirely sure of what to do with herself. She had opted to stay indoors where possible, so as not to end up bumping into Shikamaru.

It wasn't that she didn't want to see him – a part of her wanted nothing more – but what was she to say to him? Perhaps she owed him an apology for having left him… but where to start? No, it was best left alone until her mind was clear. There was no point trying to explain things to him when she couldn't even explain things to herself. She lived in the Sand, he lived in the Leaf. No good would come of trying to make things work between them. He was best forgotten.

She ran a finger along the edge of one of the leaves on display but her train of thought was disrupted by a sound from along the corridor. Someone was coming, so she rearranged the pile of paperwork in her arms and carried on her way, dismissing her rambling thoughts. There would be other opportunities to appreciate the floral life found here. No one had ever bought her flowers before. But that was OK. She was perfectly capable of buying them for herself should she feel the need.

The noise of footsteps on the floor grew louder until a figure came around the corner. He had one hand in his pocket, his face buried in a book, but stopped reading when he saw her. It was Kakashi.

"Hello, Temari," his mask covered most of his face but his eyes gave away that he was smiling to her. "Nice to have you back in the Leaf."

"Thanks, Kakashi. It's not so bad to be here."

"What have they got you working on?"

"Paperwork mostly," she rolled her eyes and gestured to the armful of Allied Shinobi Forces files that she was carrying. "I'd give anything for a good fight instead."

"I know that feeling! I'm pretty snowed under, myself!" He laughed to her. "Let me know when you're free, we should catch up some time."

"I'd like that." Almost everyone she had met since being back had offered her a similar sentiment and every time she had agreed politely, not really thinking they had meant it. Kakashi was probably no different. He had his own work to focus on without her distracting him. She nodded him goodbye and moved to carry on her way. But something stopped her.

"Kakashi?"

"Yes?" He turned back to her.

"We could work together tonight, if you're not doing anything." _What was she saying_? Even as she spoke, she wasn't sure what had inspired her to offer this. Her heart pounded with embarrassment, sure that he would give a pained excuse now that she had called his bluff. But she was wrong.

"That sounds great. Yours or mine?"

She stuttered over her reply, unprepared for his enthusiasm. She couldn't bare to let anyone in her private space, and would he get the wrong idea if she offered to go around to his house? "Uhh, how about I meet you in the library?"

"Okay. See you tonight."

* * *

><p>Climbing the steps of the Hokage Monument to get to the Archive Library that evening, Temari tried to rationalise her actions. <em>It would do me good to have some company of an evening<em>, she decided, _and mature company would make a valuable change from the children I've been hanging around with lately_. She had always been fond of Kakashi and felt comfortable in his company, but they had never spent much time alone together.

She entered the library and the lights that met her in the reception swept away the darkness of the night and brought her mind back to reality. She brought an armful of papers with her and found him with his own work sprawled out across one of the conference tables on the second floor of the library, beside the reference section. He had his back to her as she approached and as she got closer, she realised he wasn't working at all, but reading a novel.

"Looks like you're working hard." She teased him and saw him give a slightly embarrassed smile as he welcomed her.

"I just didn't want to get too much of a head start on you," he recovered, pushing some of his papers to the side so she could join him in the next seat. She settled herself and found her place in her files. The wall on this side of the building was made up huge windows, so they would have had a view of all of Konoha had it still been daylight. It wasn't late in the evening, but winter was drawing in quickly and the days were growing shorter all the time.

"How have you been? I can't even remember the last time we spoke."

How _had_ she been? Temari didn't even seem to know. Her head was a mess after everything that had happened with Shikamaru. She avoided his question. "It must have been the last Kage summit. What have you been getting on with since then?"

"Tsunade is trying to convince me to take on another squad of new genin, fresh out of the academy."

"Are you going to?"

"I haven't decided yet. The last team took a lot out of me."

When she had been a genin, Kakashi and the other sensei had seemed much older than her, but now that she was grown there really wasn't too much of a difference. He must have been around a decade her senior but he had never spoken to her like she was a child, or looked down on her. She was, of course, a few years older than the kids in the last squad he taught.

"How are you finding your stay in the Leaf Village?"

"I like it here," she answered sincerely. "The villagers have always been very welcoming to me."

"You're an easy person to like, Temari. Not every visiting Kunoichi gets the same welcome that you do."

She told him he was making that up, but couldn't help feeling a twinge of flattery.

"Not at all. I know I enjoy your company, or I wouldn't be here." He smiled to her. "You're looking well, by the way."

His compliment took her by surprise. "Thank you. I'm trying to stay fit in between all the paperwork. You know, just in case."

"It shows."

She dismissed his comment, telling him instead about her trainings and asking him of his recent missions. He was clearly quite a private person and spoke little of his own life, but he listened well. Temari didn't give anything away about her first week back in the Leaf Village, but found herself feeling free to speak to him about some of her frustrations and even ventured to hint towards her occasional loneliness. In another time, she may have opened up to Shikamaru like this, but that was impossible now, so Kakashi was a suitable substitute. Her conversation surprised even herself. She was usually so good at keeping all of her troubles hidden away. As the conversation flowed, it was soon obvious that the two of them wouldn't be getting much more work done that evening.

"What do you say we go get ramen? I think we've earned it." Kakashi suggested. They packed up their things and headed out into the darkness. Without the sun on their little town, the chill in the winter air was icy. It would take some getting used to for Temari, who was used to hot summers and mild winters in the Sand. The Leaf had wet summers and brutal winters.

Kakashi didn't seem to mind the cold. Where she braced herself against it, tightening her core and gritting her teeth, he continued to walk with that relaxed slouch he had like nothing in the world phased him. Maybe it didn't. Now that she thought about it, Kakashi had always been very composed for as long as she had known him. He was a very easy person to be around, and she needed that right now. She felt safe around him. She didn't have to worry about him, or feel responsible for him.

She hoped that taking him up on his offer of food didn't give him in the impression that she intended to spend time with him in any kind of romantic context, but the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if that would be such a bad thing. The famous Copy Ninja of the Hidden Leaf Village, and sensei to some of her friends from here… it could be exciting. It had never occurred to her to think of him in a sexual way before, but now her train of thought was running down a very dangerous track. She put the thought to the back of her mind and let the evening go where it would.

He offered to pay for her ramen but she refused him. They compromised by paying for their own meals, but using Kakashi's home to shelter from the cold. His place was not far, but with her hands around her box of hot noodles and the enticing smell of miso and barbeque pork rising into her lungs, she was happy to walk a little slower now. The Leaf Village was pretty in winter. Other villagers hurried about their evening business, seeming not to notice the icy chill of the wind. Kakashi nodded greetings to those he knew, and she felt suddenly very far from home.

He let them into his home and she immediately felt more comfortable. The air was fresh and warm, and the apartment was clean. Why was she so surprised by this? Kakashi was a grown man who knew how to take care of himself. _He probably even knows how to do his own laundry_. It was not a feminine home – none of his furniture matched and she spotted no cushions or candles and only a single houseplant– but it didn't lack homeliness. A full bookcase gave away his interests, and frames photographs spoke of his affections.

They settled side by side on the couch and began to eat. He must have pulled his mask down to eat, but he never once let her catch a glimpse of his face. She'd look away at her own bowl, or around his house, and when she'd look to him again he'd be chewing behind his mask. He did it so naturally that at first it never even occurred to her that there was anything strange about it. Even when she tried to catch him out, he was always one step ahead of her, always covered. He must have felt the need to do this his whole life, so that now it came as second nature to him. In the end, she kept her eyes away from him and let him have his privacy until they were finished.

"So Kakashi, you never told me what that book you're reading is about."

He gave an embarrassed little laugh. "It's a… social commentary… discussing… physical relationships."

"Oh, I see. You mean literary pornography?"

"You make it sound so dirty."

"I'm not one to judge. If you want to use it to fill a hole in your life, you go right ahead."

"There are worst things to fill holes in your life with than books. And why insinuate I'm the one who isn't satisfied? I don't believe you're with anyone right now either, are you?"

"No." She answered truthfully. "I've never been a big fan of the whole _commitment_ thing."

"You just haven't felt the need for a relationship?"

She thought about this for a moment. "I get why some people do, I guess. But I'm doing fine on my own. Having to worry about living my life alongside another person sounds so…" she was about to use the word troublesome but corrected herself "…tiring. I don't want anyone coming along and messing up my life just because they haven't got their own shit together, you know?"

"That makes sense. It sounds like what you're looking for is a woman."

She laughed. It was true; most of the women she knew did seem to be generally better at getting on with their lives than their male counterparts. It was just a shame that so far women had proved to be so much harder to get. "That may be true. You seem to have things pretty well sorted for yourself, though."

He gave a shrug as though not wishing to agree fully. "I'm doing OK but it's very easy to seem like everything is going fine when that's not the case. No one really has their life figured out. We all just pretend." She wanted to argue with him but wondered if perhaps he was right. "Sometimes the difference between thinking someone is doing well and thinking someone is completely hopeless comes down to how well you know them."

"That can't be true," she decided. "If that were the case, then the better someone gets to know you, the more they'll end up hating you!" She was sure that if Shikamaru knew half of the insecurities that she kept hidden from him that it would scare him off.

Kakashi laughed. "Not necessarily. By the time you realise that someone is as hopeless as they are, you might care about them enough for it not to matter. The important thing is appreciating people _because_ of their flaws, rather than _despite_ their flaws."

Temari sat chewing this over in her mind until Kakashi broke the silence again.

"You know, when I invited you back here I didn't exactly expect to end up staying up having such in depth discussions. Not that it's a bad thing."

"What exactly did you expect instead?" She eyed him suspiciously and he dropped the subject.

"Would you like a share a bottle of sake?"

He poured her a glass of ricewine and as they drank, the conversation fell more in line with what could be expected for two healthy, young, single shinobi alone together of an evening. He was a very comfortable host and Temari was happy to watch the time tick by, wondering if she would be making her way home soon or…

With the wine in her veins, she relaxed a little more and took the liberty of exploring his home. He told her the stories behind some of his photographs and she ended up choosing one of the novels from his bookcase to flick through. She read some of the scenes out loud to him, amused at how they sounded out of context. He laughed at her attempt at a sensual narrator's voice.

"Don't laugh! As if you've never done it in a spa!"

"I haven't actually."

"Really? Not even once, just to see what it was like? In the water, where anyone could walk in and see?"

"Nope." Kakashi sat back on the couch, scratching the back of his head with smiling eyes. She couldn't tell if he was proud of embarrassed by his apparent vanilla sexual history but she was too surprised to discontinue her interrogation. She knew he must have taken a fair number of lovers in the past. Could he really have not ventured outside of the bedroom with any of them?

"Not even when it's closed so you could break in without worrying about being caught?"

The scene played out in her head but she must have given away that the thought excited her because he avoided answering her question. "You are a filthy young thing aren't you?"

"I thought it was normal."

"Nope, just you."

It was obviously not an insult, but she glared at him playfully in mock offense. "I'm surprised you haven't explored a little more, what with your taste in fiction." She put the book back on the shelf and returned to sit by him on the sofa.

"Well I'm not ashamed to say I've had my fair share of partners. As I'm sure you have."

She was unsure whether he was attempting to make an insulting judgement on her character.

"I meant no offense. There's no shame in taking as many or as few partners as you wish. But you must know you could get any guy you wanted?" She didn't.

"You mean because I'm the sister of the famous Kazekage?"

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of _who_ you are than _what_ you are. You're a powerful shinobi in your own right, and a good person."

She avoided reacting to his compliment, not one to be won over by empty flattery. "Well, even if you think so, there aren't many people that I want."

"Would you ever go for an older guy?"

Now she knew for sure. "Are you flirting with me, Kakashi?"

"I'm trying to, but you're not making it easy."

"Don't you think you're a little old for me?"

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Not at all."

"Good. Because I've seen you fight, Temari. If there was anything you didn't want, I'd know about it. I hope you wouldn't feel like I'd be taking advantage of you in any way."

His one visible eye stayed fixed on her face, as hers scanned his body up and down, considering his proposal. There wasn't enough drink in her for her vision or her reasoning to be blurred. She didn't need the influence of alcohol to find this one attractive.

"Can I use your bathroom?" It was easier to think when she was alone.

Wasn't the whole reason she had become so frustrated with Shikamaru the fact that he acted grown up but was really just a little boy inside? Maybe the age difference was no bad thing. She was still careful of damaging her reputation, but maybe that wouldn't be an issue either. He was the famous Kakashi Hatake, "the Copy Ninja" of the Leaf Village. Maybe it would be unwise to enter into any kind recurrent relationship, but a one night thing? How bad could it be?

She found herself adjusting her appearance in his mirror, fixing her hair and shuffling her breasts. Was she really going through with this? They were both young, healthy an unattached, she was a little flattered he'd even made a move in the first place, and maybe being with an older man would do her some good. When would this kind of opportunity ever come up again? There was certainly no danger of loving him, and no danger of him loving her. It would be safe. Just sex. _Let's do it._

She made her way back to his living room and he had already tidied the empty boxes of their ramen away and was reclining on the couch. She moved to join him there but sat over him, straddling his legs with hers. She played with one hand on the zip of his jacket - the same kind Shikamaru wears. If his face hadn't been covered, she might have kissed him. Instead, she sat up straight, noticing his one visible eye watching her slowly pull the zip free, showing the sweatshirt underneath. He let her take his outer layer off and when she hesitated, wondering where to go from here, it was his turn to move things along. He pushed one of her thighs from his lap so that he could stretch to flick the lamps off. The room was almost pitch black, even after her eyes had adjusted.

He returned to her, and she felt a hand behind her neck. There was the sound of cloth being pushed across skin and suddenly his lips were on hers. _So she wasn't allowed to see, but she was allowed to feel_. She couldn't feel anything unusual about the skin beneath his mask. She took a moment to appreciate the taste of his tongue and noticed how closely-shaven the skin that brushed against her cheek was. Shikamaru often let his stubble grow out for days at a time and she enjoyed the roughness of it. _No, she had enjoyed the roughness of it in the past. But that was over now._

She resisted the urge to put a hand to his jawline and search for what he was hiding. She did, however, put her fingers through his silver hair. He had taken the liberty of removing his own headband and so she could run her hand uninterrupted through his hair, behind his ear and to the back of his neck. Even though he was still fully clothed from the neck down, she was so used to seeing his face hidden that he already felt naked to her.

His kiss was strong and slow, with none of the urgency and lust that Shikamaru had shown her on their first encounter. It felt like a lover's kiss, but she was not his lover. Perhaps he had taken enough partners in his time that he had perfected the skill of feigning affection. Was he about the fuck her, or feign making love to her? Their sex was purely platonic and the thought of such artificial romance made her uncomfortable so she invited him to step things up a little. She turned her face from his and began to remove her sash. He was still too composed. She needed to excite him, to make him beg for her.

Her sash on the floor, she began to unfasten the satins of her black kimono, when he stopped her. He stood and took her hand, leading her to his bedroom. _Of course he's taking me to bed_. _I bet he's never even done it on his couch_. His bedroom was as dark as the rest of the house but she could tell that his floor was tidied, the air was fresh. It didn't smell of him. The room could have belonged to anyone. She wanted the smell of sweat and sex and smoke, she wanted mess and filth and anger. But no… this was right. This was what a home was supposed to look like when someone could take care of themselves. This was what she wanted, wasn't it?

He removed his own shirt first and though she couldn't see much of him stood beside her in the darkness, she was comforted by the first hint of his musk. She ran a hand down the centre of his chest and found it to be smooth. What a shame. She liked chest hair. He took her clothing from her shoulders but it clung around her hips as it fell, leaving her midriff bare, her legs covered. He didn't attempt to take her bra off straight away, but let his fingers play over her body. He touched the base of her neck, the edge of her ribs, the soft skin on the inner sides of her arms. So his hands were lover's hands, just as his lips were a lover's lips… but he was still _not_ her lover.

Her teeth gritted impatiently and she shook her clothing from her hips, revealing her body to him. She discarded her own bra to the floor and pushed her body against him. Perhaps she hoped that the feeling of her naked flesh might provoke some lust in him, or perhaps she would take what she wanted from him regardless of his attitude. Her fingers sank into the flesh of his torso and she pushed at his body. He obligingly sat onto the edge of the bed and lay back to let her climb over him. But she didn't want him to do it willingly, she didn't want him to feel as though he had a choice. He was being kind to her and she felt as though he was holding back.

She pounced upon his torso again, pushing her breasts against his body and yearning for the feeling of his fingernails on her spine, willing him to hurt her. He bent his head as though to reach her lips with his but she ignored it and busied her face instead with setting her tongue against his neck. He tasted strange. Not unpleasant, but strange. His skin felt different – rougher, older. It bunched and wrinkled under her fingers and her own skin felt young and soft and elastic in comparison.

He propped himself up on one elbow until he was laid more beside her than underneath her and became more active with his hands. He still seemed to be in no rush at all, but she allowed him the chance to prove himself and was eager to see what his experienced hands could do for her. He spent a lot of time touching her and kissing her all over her body, until her skin tingled beneath his fingers. She didn't have to show him where or how to touch her - he already knew his way around a woman's body perfectly well on his own. It had been fun to share the exploration of each other's bodies with Shikamaru, but to be pleasured by such skilled hands was a different experience. She was already writhing under his touch and he hadn't even ventured between her legs yet.

He made his way down her body and spent so long kissing at her hips and thighs that she was almost begging for his tongue before he even touched her clitoris. Feeling his breath against her labia and his nose brush against her pubic hair without the stimulation that she craved but beautifully painful. She suspected he was playing his little game purely to pleasure to her but shut her eyes and pretended that he was being intentionally cruel. As soon as his tongue found what it was looking for, the coils of frustration throughout her body began to unwind. A moan escaped her lips and she let herself enjoy the experience. In the darkness, she could pretend that he was whoever she wanted him to be.

He worked slowly, never forgetting to put his hands to use as well as his tongue, brushing his fingers across her midriff and down her legs, and inside her. She hadn't realised how wet she had become until he pushed a finger inside her and played in the slipperiness that he found there. When she could take no more, she put two fingers under his chin to lift his face from her. He climbed up her body again and she spread her thighs for him to enter her. He paused.

"Are you on any birth control?"

Most kunoichi chose to regulate their cycles by using birth control – there was nothing worse than being caught out on a mission with no supplies – and she told him she was protected. He offered to wear a condom anyway, "just in case". She hadn't been worried about it with Shikamaru, seeing as she was the only woman that he had been with, but Kakashi's history was clearly much different. She was pleased to see that his health was important to him.

He returned to her, protected, and this time she didn't attempt to take control or push him towards a rough experience. All she gave him was a small request whispered to his ear before laying back to experience his sex in whatever way he wanted to give it. "Don't hold back."

A husk of his voice came through his breath as he entered her, but he was otherwise a quiet partner. She angled her hips to pull her thighs up around his waist, allowing him to push deeper and grip at the flesh of her thigh with his hands. His fingers smelled of latex. His rhythm was fluid and precise, as though he were a musician and she his instrument. She kept her eyes open, searching for the silhouettes of his body moving in the darkness, reminding herself that this was Kakashi Hatake that she was in bed with in an attempt to stop her imagination from wandering.

Neither of them were close to being out of breath yet, but when he began to slow down a little, she took the opportunity to change their position. He put up no protest in being pushed onto his back, and she swung a leg across his hips to ride him the way she liked. She fucked him until her thighs ached and longed to hear more from him than the occasional strained breath or husky groan. She knew he was enjoying this, he _must_ be… So why wouldn't he show her? Was he going to wait for her to finish before he let himself do the same? Of course he was. He couldn't have seen her roll her eyes at him in the darkness. She leaned forward to taste the sweat on his neck, propping herself up with one hand and touching herself with the other. She took a moment to feel his girth between her thumb and forefinger, to feel him push inside her over and over, before putting her fingertip to her clitoris. She shut her eyes, and let her imagination play where it would. How dirty it was to be fucking one man while thinking of another.

She restrained herself from sinking her teeth into his skin as she came. He followed suite shortly after. He picked up his pace and let himself get a little louder as her walls clenched around him, and she put her hands to his torso to feel him contort into his orgasm. His muscles were more chiselled than Shikamaru's, the points of his hips more prominent. But she was satisfied. He rolled her onto her back again to embrace her briefly.

She felt him heave himself from the bed and take a handful of clothing from the floor before leaving the room. Through the gap in the doorway, she could see a light turn on and heard a tap running. When he returned, he was holding a cup of water and was dressed in his underwear and vest with his mask pulled over his face. He turned on a small lamp in the room and offered her the water. She thanked him for the drink, and he joined her in the bed.

"Why do you wear a mask, Kakashi?" A part of her had been desperate to ask all evening.

"I can't really tell you that."

"Oh come on. You've just been inside me, and now you want to start keeping secrets? I didn't think there was anything left to hide."

"There are far more intimate things than sex, Temari. And for me, the mask is one of them. I'm sorry."

More intimate than sex? What did he mean by that? Hadn't they all been brought up to think that it was the most intimate thing you could do with someone?

"Our bodies are not the most important thing about us," he explained. "Everyone has different boundaries of course, but for most people it's a lot easier to share our _bodies_ with another person than it is to share more private aspects of who we are."

So he was happy to share his body with her, but not his secrets. That was fair. Now that she thought about it, she was sure she probably did a similar thing. And then she realised. She had been happy to share her body with Shikamaru, but chose to hold back everything she felt for him. She could enjoy their sex because in the moment she had felt close to him, but that wasn't true intimacy. True intimacy would have been to have shown him her weaknesses, to let him know how hopeless she really was and hope that he still wanted her. True intimacy would have been to have taken off her mask for him, the mask that she hid behind, even from herself. She had built walls around herself made of excuses, sabotaging herself and willing herself not to love him. _He's sexist, he's lazy, he's inconsiderate_… these were all walls to protect her from the fact that she couldn't be with him even if she wanted to. He was from the Leaf, she was from the Sand. Even if she revealed everything that she felt and, by some miracle, he requited her feelings, there was still no way that it could work. So she made herself believe that she had chosen not to want him, rather than crumble under the weight of knowing that it was impossible. That was why she had made such a big deal over such simple things, that was why he provoked so much anger inside her. It was easier to be angry than to be hurt.

"We all wear masks, don't we, Kakashi?" Maybe it was the rush of orgasmic elation still in her veins, but she could not stop a grin from taking over her face.

"Well, listen to you getting all philosophical."

She had decided not to speak with him and to let it all blow over, because she didn't know how to explain how she felt. But now it all made sense, and she had to see him. She had been so desperate to protect herself that she had hurt them both. She could see things so clearly now. Maybe it would still be unwise to enter into anything too suddenly, maybe they would be better to wait a few years until they had both grown up. But that should be a decision that they made together. She had to tell him. Happiness bubbled under her skin.

They slept on separate sides of the bed, but there was no hostility. Quite the opposite, in fact. It had taken a purely platonic sexual encounter to make Temari realise that being with Shikamaru had been about so much more than that. She had always intended for encounters with him to be purely physical, but now that she had been with Kakashi and realised what "only sex" really felt like, she was sure that what she had had with Shikamaru was quite different.

She slept a long, deep, dreamy sleep.

When the morning came and it was time for her to leave, he dressed alongside her and walked her to the end of her road. It was nice to be seen in public with him, and he was so relaxed about the whole thing. No sneaking around, no lies… he wasn't ashamed of her.

"Thank you for last night, Kakashi. I really needed that."

He said goodbye by taking her hand, and touching it against his covered lips. He didn't even glance around them first to check that no one was looking. "I had a lot of fun. Let me know if you find yourself really needing it again," he offered. Somehow she thought she wouldn't be taking him up on his offer. He had already given her so much more than she had expected.

Arriving home, she washed and changed, but didn't stay for long. Her mind felt clearer than it had done in a long time and her bones were restless. She wrapped up warm against the winter air outside and shut the door to her temporary apartment behind her. She didn't know if Shikamaru would be home or not but it seemed like a good place to start looking for him. The morning was bright and cool, and reminded of her of the morning that she had left Konoha to return to Suna and Shikamaru had been waiting for her, to see her one last time before she left. Such a lazy, unmotivated boy, stirred from his sleep by a simple Sand Kunoichi. Now it was her turn to make an effort for him.

As she walked, she rehearsed in her head everything she wanted to say to him, and each time she played the scene through, her words were different. How melodramatic she'd been over things that shouldn't really matter in the first place, and how she had only lied to him because she was lying to herself. How she wanted to be able to hold his hand in public, and how she wasn't ashamed of him, not at all. She was as excited as a child and her gut felt sick with adrenalin and a strange combination of fear and elation and hurt and joy.

She had to walk through the village to get to the path that lead up to the Nara household and was polite to those who greeted her along the way, trying not to look as though she was in a hurry when so much of her wanted to run to him. To avoid being held up by any of the villagers who may have known her, she took the quiet back roads. At last, she got to the fork in the road that would take her to his home. She followed it and, when she was sure no one see her, she ran. She ran through his gardens and slowed just in time to catch her breath before knocking on the door. The world seemed to hold its breath for a moment as the door swung open, but it was Shikamaru's father who answered.

"Good morning, Shikaku," she greeted him, trying to steady her nerves. "Is Shikamaru home?"

"I'm afraid you've missed just missed him. He's gone out for the day with Ayame."

"Ayame?" Temari felt sick. "The ramen girl?"

"Yes, I'm afraid they've been seeing rather a lot of each other recently. Should I let him know you were looking for him?"

"No!" What a fool she had been. Of course he had found someone else after she had left. He deserved someone who treated him better than she did. "No, it's really not important. Please don't say anything to him."

Shikaku promised to keep quiet, and she headed away from their home and back down towards the village through their gardens. But as she got further away from the house, the more she realised that she couldn't face having to be around anyone just yet. She left the path and took herself off into the woods, to regroup her senses where no one would she able to see or hear her. Why did it hurt so much to hear that he was seeing another girl when she had just come from another man's bed? Yes, she had consoled herself with truly meaningless sex, but at least she hadn't opened her heart to anyone. To hear that he had spent the night elsewhere might have been bearable, but to imagine him… _loving_ someone else? She stood with a back against a tree and buried her head in her hands, then did something she hadn't done since she was a child. Temari cried.

* * *

><p>"Temari!" Shikamaru knocked at her door but there was no answer. He wondered if she had already left to see Tsunade or gone for breakfast somewhere, but most likely she was inside and was ignoring him. "Temari!" He called through the door again. "I just want to talk to you!"<p>

Someone stepped out of the apartment next door. It was an older woman. Her arms were folded over her ample bosom and she looked at him as though he was vermin.

"That one didn't come home last night." She told him.

He stared blankly at her for a moment. "What do you mean she didn't come home? Is she OK?"

"I told the Hokage we don't want any of those awful Sand folk in our neighbourhood, but did she listen? Sent over this dirty stop-out and now I've got to explain it to my children. Such a horrible example to be setting for our young people."

Shikamaru didn't care about her children or her prejudice. "Where is she?"

"Well," the older lady leaned closer to him as if she was sharing some juicy gossip and began gesturing with her hands. "Someone told me they saw her with that Hatake boy last night, and you _know_ what _he's _like. "The youth of today are just rabbits", I said. "This town is going to the dogs," I said. And my children- "

"You mean Kakashi?" He interrupted her. "Kakashi Hatake?"

"Mmhmm. When I was young we had a little thing called romance but these days…"

She carried on rambling but Shikamaru had stopped listening. He couldn't sleep last night for thinking about Temari and came out to see her as early as he could that wouldn't raise suspicion, making up some excuse about spending the day with Ayame so that his parents wouldn't bother him with any more questions. But now he was finally here, she was already gone. He was too late.

No, this busy-body neighbour had to be wrong. Maybe she had been misinformed, and Kakashi had spent the night with a different blonde kunoichi? Maybe Temari really had spent the night as his place, but had camped out on the sofa to save walking home in the cold? Something inside him knew his excuses to be untrue. The thought of her with anyone else made him feel sick. How could he possibly compete with _Kakashi_? Yes, he had tried to distract himself by attempting to feel some romance with another girl, but he didn't know if he could have brought himself to spend the night with her. To picture Temari with another man, as she had been with him… his heart was in his throat.

It was clear to him then that she had stuck by her decision to leave him. It was over.

* * *

><p><em>I know some of you won't be happy with the TemariKakashi pairing, but it's something I've wanted to explore with for a while and it was really fun to experiment with writing this. Drop in a review to let me know if came across as believable, and what you think of the rest of the story as a whole!_

_Thanks to Cafe de Flore, WhiteTigerKiera, and anamicenas for your help with this chapter. I'm sorry I didn't tell any of you how it was going to end! _

_Cosmic x_


	6. Pretty Little Lies

There were fresh flowers on the grave again. Kurenai must have brought Marai down to visit her father earlier that day. Shikamaru took a seat on the grass beside his sensei and took the lighter from his pocket. No one ever asked him what he was doing here, or tried to disturb him when he visited. It was a good place to come to be alone because of that, and Asuma had always been a good listener. Shikamaru lit a cigarette for himself and another for his friend. He put the first to his lips and sat the second on the stone in front of him, next to the new flowers.

He used to speak out loud when he was here, as though Asuma could somehow hear him. But now his thoughts remained in his head. There was so much he wanted to say. He hadn't failed a mission in a long time, and Tsunade almost always chose him to lead the squads_. I hope you would have been proud_. Konoha was in a state of peace and the children of the village were growing up safe and strong. Relations between the other Hidden Villagers had never been better. The Nara clan were doing well and Shikamaru had taken the time to grow closer to his mother of late, taking an interest in her stories of when she and his father were young. He was growing up to be a strong and commanding heir to the clan, but had been thinking more and more of leaving the family home to find his own place.

The thought of Temari still came to him at night, or when he spent too much time alone. She had left a bitterness inside him, but surely it was only a matter of time before that was gone. She had obviously moved on from him already. It hadn't taken much asking around to discover that her horrible neighbour's assumptions were correct. And more, her seeing Kakashi seemed to be a recurrent thing, and who knows who else she might be sinking her claws into. What would Asuma have thought if Kurenai had started sleeping around as soon as he was gone? That was different, he knew… but being heavy of heart made him bitter of thought.

Perhaps it would settle his mind if he spoke to Temari again, to know exactly what she was up to. Nothing could be as bad as his imagination told him it was. They had met a few times in recent weeks but had not exchanged words. She had caught his eye on occasion with a look somewhere between hatred and pity, but he couldn't bring himself to speak to her, and she didn't make the effort with him. He wasn't about to make a fool of himself again. Perhaps it would be best to ask Ino or Sakura to speak to her on his behalf? Or drop the whole idea entirely. If he could be replaced so easily, he probably never meant that much to her in the first place. But that was alright. They both had their own lives to lead, and he was moving on now, too.

"I thought I'd find you here." He had heard Shiho approach and lit a second cigarette for himself. Asuma's cigarette had gone out now, spilling a little ash across the stone. He shifted to the side to give her room to sit next to him and put an arm across her shoulders when she did.

"Just filling an old friend in on the news."

"Are you telling him about me?" It was a brisk, clear day and her breath made clouds in the sharp air beside his smoke.

He kissed her on the forehead in answer. He would have gotten around to mentioning her if she hadn't interrupted. There was only so long he could spend fixated on the topic of Temari.

Shiho was a good fit for him. She was almost as clever as he was, just as kind as Ayame and not as dangerous as Temari. After hearing of Temari moving on, he had tried to throw all of his attentions at his work. But when Tsunade had placed him into a project alongside the Cypher core, Shiho had come into his life as a happy bonus. She had jumped at the chance to be with him from the first time he had suggested they see each other outside of a professional context. Although he had never exactly asked her out, she was hooked on the idea of being his girlfriend from the beginning and he hadn't protested. She had even been eager to enter into a physical relationship early on, and that kept him sane and satisfied. He still got a little carried away on occasion, being too rough with her or waking up next to her in a half-dream and thinking for a fraction of a second that she was someone else… But he was thankful that he had never called her by the wrong name, at least, and she eased some of his frustrations. Temari had moved on, and Shiho was proof that he had, too. Mostly. As far as anyone else had to know.

"Do you need me to help you get ready for tomorrow?" He was due to lead Rock Lee and TenTen and a pair of younger Chunin away for what would hopefully be a short mission to dispel some trouble on the border between the lands of Fire and Sound. They would leave tomorrow morning. He had already played through all possible traps they may be walking into and decided his best course of action should the worst happen based on the skills of his team and the information that the Hokage had given him on the enemies they would face. He considered himself perfectly well prepared, although he always left packing until the last minute. It would be good to get out of the Leaf Village again for a while.

"Thank you, but I have everything prepared. We have to leave early tomorrow morning, so I should sleep alone tonight if you don't mind." He played with her hand, stroking her fingers to show enough affection that she wouldn't think he was avoiding her. She gave a little pout but then smiled to him.

"Whatever you think is best. And you know what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder!"

* * *

><p>"Ino? Can I talk to you?" He had been headed to find her at the Yamanaka Florist but bumped into her in town on the way.<p>

"Sure, Shika. You need something for tomorrow?" She was always so eager to help him. Choji was his best friend, but he and Ino shared a strong bond too. They always had each other's backs. He just hoped she would understand in this case.

"No, no that's not it."

"Then what?" Looking at those bright smiling eyes, a flash of guilt struck him.

"I need a favour." He had judged this to be a good idea, despite her fiery nature, but now he was here he couldn't help but doubt himself.

"You're friends with Temari, right?"

"I am. Where are you going with this?"

"While I'm away, could you speak to her for me?"

Her eyes narrowed at him, suspicious. He and Choji had never been able to keep secrets from her and she had found out about what had happened when Temari had first come to the Leaf. Since then, he thought he had hidden his torment quite well. But Ino wasn't stupid, and he couldn't be sure of just how much she knew.

"Why can't you speak to her yourself?"

_Because I don't trust myself around her_. "That's the thing. I don't want her – or Shiho – to know that I care."

Ino put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes at him impatiently in the way he had anticipated.

"Shika-" she began to protest but he carried on.

"I just need to know what she's up to. You two hang out already anyway, right?"

"You want to know if she's sleeping with anyone, don't you?" _Nope, nothing gets past Ino_… He didn't need her to understand his reasons completely, he just needed this one favour. Even if it turned out that he never even entered Temari's head any more, he needed a solid answer to work with. All of these _what ifs_ were driving him insane.

"I just need to know. I'm going crazy here, but she can't know that I care."

"OK, Shikamaru… let me get this straight. You want me to interrogate your ex-whatever-the-hell-she-was, to find out if she's seeing anyone new. Only she can't know I'm spying on her for you, and your new girl can't find out either."

It sounded awful coming from someone else's lips when it had made so much sense in his mind. "You're so good at getting into people's heads. Take her out somewhere. I can pay for your evening if you like. I thought girls talked about this stuff all the time?"

"She keeps her secrets to herself… she even kept you pretty quiet."

"Yeah…" _she always was a mysterious one. He hated mystery_. "She's not like other girls, I guess."

"And what exactly is wrong with other girls?"

_Oh shit_. He thought for sure he had awoken Ino's rage with that mistake, but when her eyes caught his, her face softened. She must have seen the torment behind his eyes and realised that she couldn't scorn him any more than he already scorned himself.

"Fine," she resigned. "I'll take her out. You're my friend and I hate to see you torn up like this. But she's my friend too, remember? I'm not going to betray her or anything."

"Thank you for this, Ino. I owe you one." A part of him wanted to wrap his arms around her and lift her into the air, but it only would have ended in fists to his head and kicks to his shins, so he patted a hand against her shoulder instead.

"Yeah you do. If you die out there tomorrow, I'm having all your stuff."

* * *

><p>Temari had spent a number of afternoons and evenings with Ino and Sakura, enjoying female company while she had the chance. There were only a few more designated projects to complete before heading back to Suna. That was something to look forward to. The longest nights of the year were past, but Konoha was still very far from a Spring thaw. The relative heat of the Land of Wind would be most welcome.<p>

Although there wasn't much that she had in common with the girls, they were not unpleasant company and helped her pass the time. It was clear that they were closer with each other than either of them were with her, but being something of a third wheel was tolerable enough. She was in the Leaf to work, not to socialise, and her travel pack and tessen were the only friends she needed. This time though, Ino had offered to see Temari alone. She claimed that Sakura was "busy". _That shouldn't be suspicious, should it_? Ino was her friend, there was no reason they shouldn't spend time alone together. Ino had invited Temari around to her place to prepare for their evening together, but Temari opted to meet her out instead. She would not be ungrateful or anti-social, but there was no need to drag the evening out longer than it had to be.

Ino has suggested they go to a bar which was unusual for her – she was usually more of a food person than a drink person – but Temari went along with it. A few extra public houses had popped up in Konoha in the last year or two. With the village in a state of peace, the villagers not only had more time to spend recreationally drunk, but also more money to indulge their habits. The one that Ino suggested they try was a small, smoky tavern.

It was a pleasant evening of drink and conversation, but Temari soon felt as though Ino was pushing the conversation in a certain direction. Ino and Sakura were quite comfortable telling stories of their own encounters with men, but Temari had never shared her own. Tonight though, Ino seemed very eager for her to share. _She's interrogating me_.

After hearing of Shikamaru seeing other women, Temari had returned to Kakashi on a few occasions. She had grown accustomed to his ways and learned to enjoy his touch, and he had even ventured to let her ride him on his sofa once instead of taking her to bed. He still insisted on doing it in the dark but that was a boundary she respected. She was thankful for someone to keep her nights warm, and enjoyed his conversation, but there was no spark between them and she did not miss him when she slept alone. The urge had struck her a few times to look for something - _for someone_ - more exciting and adventurous, longing to achieve the feeling that she had had with Shikamaru once more. But somehow she suspected that she might always be left disappointed, and she kept her urges to herself.

Although she had never openly spoken with Ino about her sex life, she didn't know exactly how much she may have heard from Shikamaru. It was hardly a secret that she had been seeing Kakashi, but Temari had never paid much attention to rumour and so had little idea what people might be saying about her, or how much Ino might know. When it seemed as though Ino was pushing a little too hard, Temari decided to turn the tables.

"How about your love life? You and Shikamaru, huh?" She gave her friend a playfully mocking elbow to the ribs and enjoyed Ino's look of utter revulsion at her comment.

"What? You've got to be kidding! No way!"

"Why, what's wrong with him?" She knew that there was nothing going on between Ino and her squadmate, but this was a fun game to play.

"Ugh! Where do I start? He's so…" she stopped mid-sentence and changed her angle. "I mean, I just don't feel that way about him. He's a great guy though, really. What exactly do _you_ think of him?"

"Are you asking for you, or asking for him?"

"Why would I be asking for him?"

"Ino, I can see it in your face. You've been trying to get information out of me all evening. Did Shikamaru ask you to come here tonight?"

She gave a look as though she was insulted that Temari would ask such a thing, but didn't deny it. "I'm your friend, Temari!"

"And I'm yours. But that's not what I asked."

She gave in. "He just wants to know how you're getting on."

"You mean he wants to know _who_ I'm getting on?" The drink was obviously beginning to get to Ino for her to be so loose of tongue, and she giggled at her friend's dirty wit. "That's kinda creepy and invasive but alright… I thought he was with Shiho now, anyway?"

"He is."

"So why does he care?" _He thinks he can have who he wants and still keep tabs on my private life_. She felt the wound that had been healing begin to open, and it angered her gut like a tormented beast.

"I don't know. He says you're _not like other girls_." She made a face as she spoke, mocking him.

"And what exactly does he think wrong with other girls?"

"I know, right? Idiot." The two were bonding over their mutual resentment for the Nara boy.

"Ino, let's forget about him. We're having out own girl's night tonight. You with me?" Ino was all too happy to get another round of drinks in and forget about the task she had so unfairly been set. But Temari was not so quick to forget. Shikamaru had sent Ino to interrogate her but had underestimated how difficult she was to manipulate. If anyone was going to be pulling the strings tonight, it would not be Shikamaru. She could not let him control her. The last time she had opened herself up for him, it had only amounted to salting her cheeks and reddening her eyes. But her walls were back in place now. She would not let him hurt her again.

He would be quizzing Ino as soon they next spoke, Temari was sure of it. So what kind of thoughts did she need to plant in his head? Of course he's free to go out with whoever he wants, first the ramen girl and now the woman from the cypher core… but to take what he wants from them and still think he can judge her for who she goes with? He _chose_ not to be with her. She would show him that he had no right to think he could monitor her sex life. It was nothing to do with him now, and that was _his_ choice. She should punish him for his insolence. Should she tell Ino that she really had been sleeping around? Would that hurt him? Or perhaps that she had been with Choji and make him sick with jealousy? No, they would both know that wasn't true. But Shikamaru had another best friend. There were three to a squad. What better way to spit his schemes back in his face than to corrupt his spy? Kakashi had been no challenge at all, but Ino? This might be an interesting evening after all. Revenge was so much more fun than hurt.

Playing the part of Ino's friend was not a difficult task at all. She did truly enjoy the Yamanaka girl's company and took an interest in her training and missions and stories of her family. But tonight, Temari was keen to flatter the girl directly, reinforcing the bond between them. She complimented the girl's hair and style, making her feel important by asking for help with such things, and thanking her for her advice by claiming how good a friend she was. Ino was not the only one who could manipulate a conversation. She made moves to get closer to her so slowly and naturally that it didn't seem like Ino had noticed that she was intermittently holding the girl's hand, or touching her hair, or putting an arm around her waist. She chose her moments carefully to push things in the direction that she wanted.

"Have you ever been with a girl, Ino?" She kept her distance from her friend now, hoping that she wouldn't be coming on too strong. If she frightened her off this early, it wouldn't work.

"You mean… have I kissed a girl? In games and stuff, yeah."

"No, I meant in a romantic way. When no one dared you to do it. Have you ever just thought a girl was hot and wanted to kiss her?"

"Not really… what are you saying?"

"I just think a body like yours is wasted on men." She watched her friend wrinkle her nose, her bright blue eyes wide with false modesty. If Ino had one weakness, it was flattery.

"But I like men!"

"And I'm sure they like you… but no one appreciates a woman like another woman does. No one can pleasure a woman like a woman can. Have you never even been tempted to try it?"

"Hold on, Temari. Anyone would think you're coming on to me right now."

Temari shrugged. "I was just curious." The seed was planted in her friend's mind, but this was enough for now. She changed the subject and they continued their evening.

They visited another two bars. In the first, they talked about making the most of their free time, and how good it feels to be young, and their life goals. Nothing particularly sexual came up, but Temari was monitoring the flow of the conversation carefully. She was speaking about having to explore the world as much as possible before suffering an early death, or worse – becoming a housewife!

"What is it they say? You regret the things you don't do…?" She knew very well how the saying went, but wanted Ino to hear the sentiment from her own mouth.

"… more than the things you do do!" Ino finished.

The last bar was close to Ino's home and they happened to have a live band playing. Some of the guests were swinging their drinks in the air, singing along, while others were dancing. Perfect. It was polite to have at least one drink here, but Temari was quick to invite Ino to dance as soon as they were done. Most of the dancers were buxom older women, most of the onlookers weathered older men. They looked like the type of men who would appreciate getting to watch some young flesh and she needed Ino to feel attractive. She led her friend by the hand up to near where the band were playing and turned to dance with her. The men hooted, the women clapped to dance with the younger girls, and Ino seemed to be enjoying herself. _She likes the attention_.

"You're a really good dancer!" Temari called to her friend. The music was loud here, so she had to come close and speak into Ino's ear so she would be able to hear. "I love the way your body moves!" She put her hands on the girl's hips. It was a risk, and Ino caught her with a questioning glance at first but as soon as the men watching began to whistle to them, she threw her head back to laugh. She smiled so warmly into Temari's eyes that she almost thought she might move to kiss her, but it didn't happen. Not yet. She was clearly very comfortable being in close physical contact with Temari, but was that the drink acting? Temari would do nothing that Ino didn't want, and was careful not to fill her too full of wine that she might do anything she would regret. But the more they played together, the more she forgot about her scheme and began to appreciate Ino for what she was. Not a pawn in their little game, but a woman. Those bright blue eyes, that fiery laugh, the soft skin of her midriff just showing above her skirts, the way her breasts filled out her clothes and those long, feminine, dangerous fingers…

When the song ended, they took their seats again where it was quieter.

"Wow, I'm so tired…" Temari lied. "You know what I would love? To finish the evening with a pot of tea. But where would we find any this late at night?"

"Hey, I don't live far from here!"

"Really? I had no idea! What are you saying? That we go…?" She wanted Ino to think it had been her idea.

"We could go back to mine for tea!"

"Great idea, Ino! You are such a good friend!"

They walked arm in arm, huddled against the cold, and ran the last stretch of the road to Ino's place. It was warm inside, and Ino brewed a pot in her little kitchen while Temari made herself comfortable. They settled in Ino's room, each sat cross-legged on her bed. Temari was her guest here and was considering how to figure out exactly how much Ino wanted. But the flowergirl sat close enough to her that their knees brushed and was giving her a curious look that wasn't entirely innocent.

"So Ino, what's the real reason you invited me back to your place, huh? Anyone would think you're the one hitting on me now!"

"Oh no! It's not like that!" She wrinkled her nose as she smiled again, in a way that _implied it was exactly like that_. Temari wondered if she would have reacted in the same manner if it had been a man who was flirting with her right now.

"Really? You don't like my body or what?" She played.

"Temari, you have a great body, you're gorgeous."

"So are you! Why don't we have a girls night in? If you don't mind me staying over? It's already so late…"

Ino was happy to let her friend stay the night. She didn't have any spare beds to offer but that wasn't a problem. Girls were allowed to share. When they had finished their tea, Ino turned the lights down and moved to find her nightclothes. Temari had none, so she folded her own clothes into a pile on the floor and helped herself to Ino's bed, naked. When Ino joined her in pants and a short nightgown, she caught a glimpse of her guest's naked body for the first time when she peeled back the blanket. Ino blushed, but Temari was not embarrassed. They settled next to each other in the bed, each on their side, their faces close.

"Will you keep my secret, Ino?" She taunted her. "I've always thought you were the best looking girl in the Leaf Village."

Ino didn't really seem to know what to do with this information, but held a cautious smile. Temari carried on.

"We could explore tonight, if you wanted to. Just play around, you know?"

"I'm not sure…" She spoke in a tone that suggested she _was, in fact, entirely sure_, but Temari would not push her. This had to be Ino's decision.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But I could show you how a woman can touch you better than any man ever could. You can see whatever you want to see of me. You can do whatever you want with me tonight."

She let the information settle in her friend's intoxicated mind. She could feel the cool sheets of Ino's bed against her naked skin. The air was full of floral scents and feminine perfumes, mixed with just a hint of the drink on Ino's breath. She heard her moving slowly underneath the sheets, and Ino brushed one foot to hers and put her fingertips gingerly to the skin of her chest. Temari was broader of hip and fuller of bust than Ino but she considered Ino to have better skin and a prettier face than her own. They weren't a bad combination. And it had been so long since she had been with another woman.

"Girls are really fucking hot, aren't we?" _That was a yes_.

She kissed her tentatively through smiling lips, letting Ino set the pace. He lips seemed quite reserved at first but as soon as she had a taste of Temari's tongue, her laughter began to slip through and it was clear she was allowing herself to enjoy it. Temari put a hand to the side of her face and ran her fingers through her soft blonde hair and Ino shivered even at that. She moved an arm upwards and let her fingertips hang in the air for a moment, an inch away from Temari's breasts.

"Can I…?" There was a tremble of excitement as she spoke, her mouth in a wide grin like a child waiting to unwrap a present. She put her hand to her friend's breast and squeezed it gently in her palm. Temari didn't want to rush her and let her fondle her breasts for as long as she wanted, but Ino soon opted to speed things up herself. Without asking, she put her mouth to her nipple sucked against it, wet and warm. Her hands began to venture over waist and hip, so Temari did the same. Ino was still wearing her nightgown but it hung loose enough that she could easily slip her hands underneath and enjoy the girl's plump young breasts and beautifully soft skin.

Ino was laughing again now, excited for their play, and Temari tickled her fingers against the girl's sides and nibbled at her ear, rolling her over in the bed and letting her thighs entwine with her own. It was good to keep things fun, and easy. _She's only using me to experiment, _she knew_, but this evening could be a big deal for her_. She wanted to give a good impression. But as it turned out, Ino didn't seem to need too much convincing. A hand brushed between Temari's legs, a fingertip turning circles around her inner thigh. A small giggle in the darkness, and Ino held her breath as her fingers found her guest's labia. Her touch was soft at first, as though the creature might have bitten her, just skimming over her folds. Temari kissed her again on the mouth, and in their heat under the blankets, Ino put a finger inside her friend and felt her warmth and wetness. She pulled out just enough to push some of that wetness across her labia, over her clitoris, before entering again.

Ino's head dipped under the covers. _She's even more adventurous than I expected_. She knew Ino had never done this before, but of course the Yamanaka girl was familiar enough with her own body that her inexperience didn't particularly matter. _Even her tongue feels somehow feminine_.

Of course, Temari was eager to return the favour. It had been years since she had last been with a woman and her tongue needed the exercise. She slid Ino's pants and gown from her body and cast them to the floor. They traded places and Temari began by kissing against the girl's inner thighs and squeezing at her flesh. He lips sat against Ino's groin while her fingers played inside her little pink cave. The high-pitched moans that she was making were like poetry. _I wonder who she's pretending that I am_? At last, her mouth found its place and she flicked her slippery tongue over and around at Ino's clitoris until her hips were writhing under her touch.

She kissed her way up Ino's soft, delicately feminine body until she was lying beside her again.

"Come with me?" She offered.

"You first."

It didn't take long. Temari touched herself with Ino inside her until she came, then let Ino bring herself to orgasm against her. She hid her face in Temari's chest as she got closer in an endearing manner and didn't look up again until her spasms had finally subsided. The release seemed to sober her immediately. She began to look a little flustered and lost, despite Temari giving her a warm smile and reassuring touch.

"I'm so thirsty!" Ino broke away, sitting up on the edge of the bed and covering herself in her nightclothes as quickly as she was able. _You're not regretting this already, are you_? She stumbled across the room for water and faced the wall, her back to Temari, as she drank. The girl was shrouded in shadow, but Temari thought she saw her friend shivering.

"Do you want me to leave?" Temari offered, reaching through the dark for clothing to cover her nakedness.

"I need to think through some stuff." She spoke to the wall, her words solemn.

Maybe this evening hadn't been fair on her. A quiver of guilt crept up her spine. It wasn't Ino she had meant to hurt. She would give the girl some space to get her head straight. It was cold outside, but the walk home as not so far. It would be much more comfortable to sleep in her own bed. She was almost dressed and ready to leave when Ino spoke again.

"What am I going to tell Shikamaru?"

Temari couldn't help but let a malicious grin embrace her lips. "Tell him he's missing out."

* * *

><p>Shikamaru's mission had taken two days longer than expected. The unrest that Tsunade had warned them of turned out to only have been a fraction of the issue there, the enemies they had prepared for just minions for a greater organisation. Lee and TenTen had assured him that it was his own quick thinking and brave command that meant they had all made it out alive, but he was just thankful for their own skills and comradery. Shiho had been so excited to see him home safely that he had barely had any time to himself since he had been back. The little celebration that the other young Shinobi had put on to celebrate their return should have been the last thing he wanted, but there was one reason that he decided to attend.<p>

Shiho had kept him up most of the night he had returned. _Absence makes the heart grow fonder_ she had said before he left… she had clearly missed him and been enamoured by his show of courage and he had not tried to discourage her advances, tired from travel though he was. Such a mission was good for keeping his mind off women but when the danger was over and they were headed home, his mind was more interested in discovering what Ino had found out about Temari than in seeing Shiho again. Still, their night together was enjoyable. They had taken a break at one point when he had accidentally hurt her with his teeth, but he blamed it on the built-up passion from not having had a release in a few days and she had forgiven him.

They slept in late the next day, but that afternoon he had made a point of tracking Ino down. She had avoided his gaze and shuffled over her words but explained that Temari was indeed seeing Kakashi as a casual arrangement, and that he had not been her only partner. He had had to push her for another name, frightened by the regret on her face, but Ino could hold no secrets from him. She admitted their encounter to him. It was a shock, admittedly, but he told her not to apologise. Truth be told, the tale didn't sink in right away and he had spent a moment light-headed, not sure whether to be aroused, enraged, or disappointed. Why did gut instincts always have to be so far detached from logical opinions? _I bet she's enjoying this, _he decided_. She's been lusting to draw blood from my pride again since the last time, just waiting for some provocation_. But could that be a good thing? The opposite of affection is indifference, not hatred. If she felt the need to hurt him, at least that meant she still cared.

Temari had acknowledged him at the beginning of the celebratory evening the day after his return. He had arrived with Shiho clutched to his arm, and everyone had come over in congratulations and well wishes. She had nodded a subtle smile to him then. He had wanted to go to her, but restrained himself for Shiho's sake. It was a nice atmosphere, the hall flickering with low lamp light, the air full of the smell of warm spiced sake and they had even arranged for some live music. But all Shikamaru could do was wait for it to be over. Or at least, wait for Shiho to get tired enough to leave. He danced and spoke with her for a few hours but others were asking for his company as well, and she was not suspicious of his reasons when he opted to stay a little longer after she retired home.

The blonde from the Sand was sat with Kiba and was playing with Akimaru. The big hound had his head in her lap while she fluffed her hands through his ears and blew little kisses towards his wet nose. Kiba laughed at their play and it looked as though she was asking him endless questions about the dog, enjoying both of their company. Shikamaru couldn't wait any longer. His hands hidden in his pockets, his eyes to the floor, and he went to her.

"Temari?" She looked at him as though she had just seen a ghost before she regained her composure. "Can I talk to you?"

She looked to Kiba who excused her with a gesture of his hand, and gave Akimaru a scratch behind the ear as she stood up to follow him. He led her to a quiet corner, where they could hear each other over the music and wouldn't be followed.

"What's the matter, Shikamaru?" Her usual confident smirk was on her face, except her eyes couldn't settle on where they wanted to be and flicked around the hall. "You going to tell me you're more of a cat person?"

He didn't even know where to start. Everything usually came to him so quickly, he could always decide the right course of action even in the most dangerous of environments. He had proved that time and time again. But Temari left him lost, his head a mess, his tongue mute. She looked to him for an answer he couldn't give.

"Well," she sighed, "this has been a fun chat."

She turned to leave but his words drew her back. "Ino told me about you two." _Really, Shikamaru? Was that really that honestly the best opener you could have come up with here?_

She looked to her feet with a flicker of a smile on her mouth, then raised her head defiantly, crossing her arms in the way that pushed her breasts together.

"And why is that any business of yours?"

He was invested now. He had to press on. Even if she beat him for it, he had to say this now.

"I wish you wouldn't see people from the Leaf."

"Excuse me?" Her tone was not as aggressive as he might have anticipated.

"I know I can't dictate how you behave, it's your life…"

"Damn right it is."

He pressed on. "Anyone from the Sand is fine. If I don't know them, I don't have to picture it. But please don't get with my friends. I can't…" he stumbled. "I can't deal with that."

"So if you know them, you're somehow forced to imagine it? I wonder what your girlfriend would think of you picturing me fucking other people. Do you picture it when you're inside her?"

"No, I…" It had seemed like such a reasonable request before he had shared it. "I shouldn't have said anything. Forget it."

"Did you really expect me to agree to this?"

He shrugged. Honestly, he hadn't known what to expect. "I just needed to talk to you. You've been so closed off with me lately."

"Closed off? I thought you of all people would know the benefits of playing your cards close to your chest."

"In battle, yes, but not between us." The words came through an exasperated sigh. "I am not your enemy, Temari."

"And I am not your property. You gave up the right to tell me who to be with when you chose _her_. You can't ask me to be faithful to someone who isn't even my boyfriend."

"It's not possessive to wish you wouldn't sleep around. You deserve better than that." He had meant it as a kindness, but hatred flared in her eyes.

"Was that _pity_? Are you _pitying_ me right now? Because you're in a relationship again already and I'm not? That's my _choice_."

"I wish you'd choose differently." Perhaps if he'd known that Kakashi cared for her it wouldn't have made his jealousy any easier, but at least he'd know that she was being looked after and not throwing her body away like she was.

"It's certainly no worse than what _you're_ doing."

"What is it you think I'm doing?"

"You're a serial monogamist, Shikamaru. At least I'm honest about the fact that what I do means nothing. You're going around pretending to actually like these girls to get laid. At least I'm not breaking anyone's heart."

_Wasn't she? _Shiho was a good person, how dare she accuse him of using her for sex. She had no idea. These petty arguments were a drag at the best of times but now he was tired and bitter. He didn't want to fight any more.

"Forget it. It's none of my business, I don't care. I've got something better than that now. Someone better than you."

That one must have hurt her, but she swallowed any retort that might have had. Were her eyes glistening wet, or was it just the lamp light? He caught a fraction of the slow acoustic music from across the room, muffled at the distance and half drowned in chatter.

"Are we finished here?" She said at last.

_No_. She looked impatiently back into the room as though she couldn't wait to get away from him, but neither of them moved. Having her here now, so close to him where he couldn't touch her. How much he wanted to take her in his arms and run away with her and put all of this mess behind them. A disgusting thought crossed his mind. A wiser man might have suppressed it, but just being around Temari made Shikamaru impulsive and reckless.

"Would you have me back if I left her?"

She caught his eye then. Her eyes _were_ wet and she silently pleaded with him not to make her answer that question.

"I'm going home soon."

_How could he have forgotten_? But it wasn't a _no_.

"Can I hug you?"

Everything inside her wanted him close to her body, but she could see how it would play out. She would smell the scent of him, feel the warmth of his skin, feel safe in his strong arms. She would wrap her arms around him and never let him go. That wouldn't do. The whole reason they were in this mess was because they had no self-control around each other.

"No, Shikamaru," she sighed. She folded her arms across her body, but it was not a display of strength or anger as it usually was. She was protecting herself from him. "No, you can't."

* * *

><p><em>This is something of a filler chapter, seeing as the whole middle section of this piece doesn't actually have an awful lot to do with the main storyline! Might end up getting rid of it if I ever redraft this. Pop in a review and let me know if you think it's worth keeping or not!<em>

_Kept it in for now because the story deserved some lady-love in it somewhere. Temari and Ino are so often depicted as rivals for Shikamaru's attention, but having the two of them get together without him is so much more fun, don't you think?_

_Sorry this one ended up being so damned long. Again._

_Cosmic x_


	7. Victims of Fate

Things had not been easy for Shikamaru since returning from his last mission. The opportunity to exercise his body and mind in the context of real danger had been very beneficial, but what should have left him feeling strong and rejuvenated had instead left him frustrated. He yearned for another excuse to leave the Leaf, to see something of the world and have a goal to achieve; a finish line to work towards. As it was, each day in the Leaf passed him by without joy or accomplishment. True, his easy life wasn't full of danger or strife. It was worse than that. It was boring.

A year ago he may have relished in the chance to do so little with his days, but now it was as though he could feel his life slipping away into the past, he could feel himself wasting away and it was painful. His very being was growing stale, watching his days drip away, pointless. Perhaps this was what his parents might have called a midlife crisis – the idea of having wasted too much of his life already and being powerless to claim that time back. Or perhaps this was just what happens to someone when they stay with a person they don't really love, all the while counting down the days until the one they yearn for exits their life forever.

_Would you have me back if I left her_? The words echoed in his mind. Until he had spoken them, it was easy to convince himself that Shiho was who he truly wanted. Now even being around her was a betrayal of her trust, when these words screamed around his mind every time she kissed him. No one deserved to be someone's back-up plan – especially not Shiho. She was a good person, and he cared for her enough to know that she deserved better than him.

He had thought of breaking things off._ The earlier it happens, the less painful it will be for both of us, right_? But he had never quite found the right time or place. He enjoyed her company, and although he might have chosen Temari over Shiho, he would still have chosen Shiho over loneliness. Still, he had been more reserved than usual around her, and it had not gone unnoticed. To make it up to her in some way, he had offered to take her out for a meal that evening. Just the two of them, to spend some quality time together and try to find a little sparkle between them again. To ease his guilt. He wanted to be good to her, truly.

She seemed to be thankful. He had dressed up for her that evening – black shirt, red tie – and offered her his arm to cling to as they walked. The undercurrent of tension between them was well hidden beneath her laughter. All seemed to be going well enough, until Shiho spotted a friend of hers walking towards them in the other direction.

"Tatsuo!" She called to him, leaving Shikamaru's arm and jogging up to meet him. "How have you been?" He heard her say as she reached him. The figure picked her up off the ground in a greeting hug and she squealed, thumping him on the shoulders until he put her down. Another man may have been jealous of this display but Shikamaru knew how Shiho behaved when she liked someone, and this was not it. That was not to say the sight in front of him didn't concern him in another way. He didn't recognise Tatsuo, but the girl he was with was all too familiar.

Shikamaru walked on towards them as slowly as possible to put off the awkward meeting, but there was no avoiding it. He stared at the ground, gritting his teeth, wishing he was somewhere else.

"Who's this?" Shiho asked her friend, gesturing to the girl stood to his side.

"Temari and I were just going for dinner together."

"Oh, Temari! Of course! From the Hidden Sand Village, right?" Shiho smiled at Temari who gave her a polite nod. "Haven't we met before?"

"The Kaze Summit last summer," Temari agreed.

Shikamaru was kicking at the dirt ground, his hands in his pockets. He wanted nothing more than for this meeting to be over so he could get on with his evening in peace. This was such a drag. Why did she even have to still be in the Leaf Village? Why did she seem to turn up everywhere he went? Why could he not just get rid of her?

"Why don't we double date?" Shiho offered, to Shikamaru's dismay. "It'd be great to catch up with both of you! Shikamaru and I are going to the restaurant by the hospital." If it hadn't been so rude, Shikamaru would have sighed loudly and rolled his head back on his shoulders in grievance. To keep the peace, he simply stood there quietly, hoping the other couple would say no.

"That sounds great! We'll come with you!" He known Tatsuo for less than a minute and already hated him.

"We're hardly dressed for it," Temari protested. She had been as quiet as Shikamaru was, obviously silently hating every moment of this. "That's a fancy place, and we were only planning on barbeque."

But Tatsuo insisted that they had no enforced dress code, so Temari resigned to feign enthusiasm and Shikamaru had no choice but to agree as well.

Shiho and Tatsuo seemed to have plenty to talk about and walked slightly ahead of Shikamaru and Temari on the way to dinner, leaving the two to walk together in a silent bitterness. They had no issue being allowed entry in casual dress, and the kindly waiting staff were able to alter their reservation from a table for two to a table for four. They took their seats and were handed their menus.

Shikamaru kept his eyes buried in his menu so he could more easily pretend he was elsewhere. Tatsuo was slightly shorter than him, but broader across the shoulder. He had shaggy dark hair and perfectly smooth skin. Shikamaru was only half-listening to his conversation with Shiho, but picked out one piece of information which would explain why he didn't recognise him: Tatsuo was ex-Anbu black ops_. Just like Kakashi. I guess Temari has a type_, he thought. _This one must have quite a pain threshold_. He wondered if her name was already carved into his skin.

Shiho put her arm through his again, knocking his train of thought. He looked up to his company and accidentally caught Temari's gaze. They stared daggers of fire for a second before the tension was broken by a waiter coming by with a tray of their drinks. While he was thanking them and placing their drinks on the table, Shikamaru noticed Temari put a hand under the table and Tatsuo turn to look at her with a smile. She had her hand on his thigh, and wasn't even trying to be subtle about it. The contact wasn't for her date's benefit, but for Shikamaru's.

Seeing this, he realised there was no need for him to avoid being affectionate with Shiho in front of them. He put an arm around her waist and she responded by shuffling in close to him.

Temari turned to her own date and brush his hair behind his ear to lean in and whisper something to him that made him drop his jaw briefly and put a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. She laughed like a naughty child behind his hand._ She's enjoying this_, Shikamaru realised. _She's trying to hurt me again to save her pride_.

He put a hand to the back of Shiho's neck and turned her face to his to kiss her deeply on the mouth. He couldn't resist opening his eyes a fraction to see if Temari had seen that she had lost this battle, but when he looked across the table, she had met his move and had her tongue down Tatsuo's throat. More, she was watching Shikamaru to make sure he'd seen.

"What has gotten into you!" Shiho blushed and giggled as she pulled away from his kiss. She might have actually expected an answer if their waiter hadn't returned just then to take their orders. The two couples pulled away from each other to order, and fell back into conversation when the waiter left.

"So, Shiho!" Temari began. She was speaking to his date, but looking Shikamaru straight in the eyes with the most vicious false-smile he had ever seen. "Tell me all about how you and Shikamaru got together."

Shiho blushed and stumbled shyly over her words but was keen to tell of their work together in the cypher core and how Shikamaru had finally confessed his feelings for her. All the while, she entangled herself around his arm.

"Shiho, you're just going to love being with Shikamaru. That irritating, out-of-tune humming thing he does is so special." Temari was vicious but he had dirt on her, too. He wasn't about to let her win this.

"Tatsuo, have you heard Temari snoring yet?" He hated everything about the man already, but would pretend to engage him in conversation if it meant beating Temari at her own game. "There's nothing as great as being kept up at night by that chainsaw rattle she makes, drooling on her pillow."

She scowled at him for a second before remembering her role and painting a smile across her face again. "Oh, you kidder! You're just being modest, forgetting how to tell everyone how you talk in your sleep. That's not creepy at all."

"I hope you like feet, Tatsuo, because Temari has a real thing for having her toes sucked on."

"Shiho, you know the sexiest thing about Shikamaru? That gross jaw-cracking thing he does before he cums."

"Has Temari drawn blood from you yet, Tatsuo? Because she's maimed just about everyone from here to Sunigakure." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he had gone too far. The evil smile fell from Temari's mouth and he knew she didn't want to play anymore. If this were a physical battle he'd be bloody by now, but here wit was her only weapon and he had disarmed her.

"Would you excuse me?"

She rose slowly from the table and Shikamaru thought she might have abandoned them completely by heading for the door, but instead she went the restrooms. The table fell silent. At last, Shiho followed Temari, leaving Shikamaru and Tatsuo alone. It was Tatsuo who spoke.

"Wow, she's a wild one, isn't she?"

"That's one word for the woman…" Shikamaru rested his head back against his hands and tried to calm himself down. But somehow it was difficult to loosen his anger with Tatsuo in front of him.

"She's no woman!" He laughed. "She's a hurricane in a dress."

"Temari is a person," _and I will not have you dehumanise her like that_.

"I've never had a Sand ninja before. Always wanted to tick that one of the list."

Shikamaru hated him more with every word. What was it he had been thinking recently about missing the danger of combat? Tatsuo was ex-Anbu. _Is that enough of a challenge for you, Shikamaru_? He asked himself.

"Women are not prizes to be collected."

Tatsuo shrugged off this comment and let a smug grin consume his face. "You might not think so, but I'm gonna be collecting that prize tonight, you know what I mean? I heard she's pretty easy."

Suddenly, Tatsuo was frozen where he sat. Shikamaru stared him dead in the eye, his hand sign for his Shadow Possession Jutsu hidden under the edge of the table.

Slowly, he lifted one hand, and Tatsuo was forced to follow suite. A hint of fear flashed across his eyes as his hand moved to a knife on the table. Shikamaru gripped his hand around thin air, while Tatsuo's hand gripped around the knife, and lifted it to hold it over the back of his other hand, the point of the blade just resting against the skin. Shikamaru applied a little pressure, until a small bead of blood formed on the back of Tatsuo's hand.

"I would think very carefully about the next words to come out of your mouth."

* * *

><p>Temari stood leaning over the sink, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The skin around her eyes was prickling with anger, with shame. Her heart seemed to be pounding in her throat. She addressed her posture, rearranging her cleavage and gathering her nerves, when Shiho entered.<p>

"Do you have a problem with my date, Temari?" She spoke quietly, adjusting her glasses. It was clear that Shiho wasn't comfortable with confrontation and it must have taken a great deal of bravery for her to say it. Temari felt like dirt.

"Shiho, I'm so sorry," she sighed. "I didn't mean to ruin your evening." The girl deserved an explanation. "I don't know how much he's told you but… Shikamaru and I used to have a thing. It ended badly. We haven't really had chance to sort things out since then."

If Shiho had been angry, it would have been easier, but her face showed nothing but worry. "I never meant to get between you two."

"No! You're not at all. I hoped we might have got past it by now, but apparently not." She spoke truthfully. "Don't let me give you a bad impression of him though. He really is an amazing guy. You two should have a great time."

Shiho smiled. "Tatsuo is pretty cool too, right? I'm sure we can all make tonight work out."

"I hope so." Temari said. She meant it. "Come here." She took Shiho in a full hug and held her tight long enough to apologise for being such a bitch to her. Their differences settled, they walked arm-in-arm back into the restaurant.

"Your legs look incredible in that dress, by the w…" her voice trailed off. Something had swept up her attention. In front of them, on the floor beside their flipped table, surrounded by broken plates and scattered cutlery, were Shikamaru and Tatsuo. The thunder of fists echoed around the restaurant while other diners stared, or retreated away from the commotion. Half of Shikamaru's face was already bloodied and Tatsuo doubled over his stomach with the wind knocked out of him. One of the staff members was trying to calm them until blood splattered up his uniform and he ran to get his manager.

Temari's whistle cut through the air, disturbing the boys from their fight.

"We leave you two alone for one minute!" She stormed across to them and took Shikamaru by the ear, hauling him off her date. "You are such an embarrassment!"

The whole restaurant was watching them now. Shiho was on her knees, wiping blood from Tatsuo's nose, and a suited person who must have been the manager was striding towards them. Shikamaru was still twisted under the grip she had on his ear and was trying to catch his breath, spluttering on blood from a split lip. He looked up at her apologetically. At least, one eye did. The other eye was already swollen shut. Her grip softened as she realised how truly pathetic he looked. Suddenly all she wanted to do was hold him close to her and tell him what a fucking idiot he was being. But there wasn't time.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to leave."

The manager seemed to tower over both of them, his voice booming through gritted teeth. He had already rolled up his sleeves as though he was prepared to use force to be rid of them. Shiho hurried to put the table the right way up and gather any salvageable crockery from the ground while Temari paid the manager handsomely for the incident and couldn't stop the apologies pouring from her mouth. The girls offered to help clean up, but Tatsuo remained sulking on the floor and Shikamaru excused himself. All around, the other diners were glaring at them with looks of shock and contempt. _In how many different ways would she have to ruin her reputation before the Leaf Village would stop inviting her back_?

As soon as people started to look away, she snuck out to follow Shikamaru and found him leaning against the outside wall of the building, lighting up a cigarette. Her mouth opened to scorn him but there was nothing she could say that he didn't already know.

"Have you come here to tell me how useless I am?" He didn't look at her.

"I was thinking more along the lines of '_melodramatic_', but whatever."

"Wow. I never thought _you_ would call _me_ melodramatic."

In the dark of the evening, his face looked distorted and half in shadow. The bruises weren't showing through yet, but they would do in time. He had probably felt nothing in the heat of the moment, but the pain would return to him as soon as his adrenalin subsided, she was sure. That was how it had been when they had bruised each other. She thought of his body covered in her marks, and of his face smiling to her as she made them, with his look of… no, not love. It could have grown to be love, if they had let it.

But they hadn't. And now here they were, cold in the dark, wounds running deep. She was not innocent, she knew, but she still believed that it had been _his_ choice to discard what they had.

She couldn't keep the quiver of pain from her voice. "I hate you so much."

He looked at her then. He could see the emotion boiling up beneath up beneath her skin, but her eyes weren't saying "hate".

"I'm sorry I beat up your date."

"I'm sorry my date beat you up."

They both managed a breath of laughter. It was the first time she had seen his smiling eyes in a long time. He continued to apologise. "Nah, I started it."

"Why did you?"

Shikamaru took a long inhale through his cigarette before answering, hatred in his voice. "He called you _easy_."

"So did you," she reminded him. His eyes fell to the ground again in silent regret.

"It was none of my business. I know you don't need me to fight your battles for you."

"No I don't. But thank you for trying," she was genuinely quiet flattered. She had always been able to look after herself and wasn't used to anyone else sticking up for her. But she shouldn't have been surprised. Shikamaru was a kind person. _Had she forgotten that_?

"I'm sorry I implied that you sleep around."

"It's not the fact that you think I've slept around…" she considered, "because there would be nothing wrong with that even if I had. It's the fact that you think less of me as a person because of it."

"I don't think less of you because of it." He sounded shocked at her accusation and met her eyes again. "I think less of _me_ because of it."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Because the more people you casually sleep with, the less important I feel like I was to you."

She had to tell him. "Shikamaru, you will always be important to me. What we had was never just sex."

He smiled a sad smile to her then, and dropped the butt of his cigarette to the floor. His lip was beginning to bleed again, and she went to him to clean it with the cuff of her jacket. He stood patiently while she tended to him, the fabric of her clothing darkening with the blood from his soft lips. The lips that she had once known so well.

"You don't have to look after me you know," he assured her.

"But I _want_ to."

When she had cleared most of the blood from his face, she lowed her hand but couldn't quiet bring herself to step away. She kept her face close to his until he broke the silence.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

There was a warmth in his eyes which cut through the winter cold. She wanted to hold him but he didn't belong to her anymore.

"We need to talk, don't we?"

_Yes_. She glanced towards the restaurant where his girlfriend was cleaning up after their mess inside. "Not now, not here."

"Will you meet me later?" He put his hands to her waist, pleading with her. "Let me talk to Shiho first."

"Talk to her? What are you going to do?"

"Will you meet me?" He pressed.

There was no question in her mind. "Yes."

"Give me two hours. I'll meet you back here. Not in the street though… the roof of the hospital?"

She nodded to him smiling like a child, but they were interrupted by noises from the doorway of the restaurant. Shikamaru took his hands from her immediately and she stepped back away from him as they both looked to the doorway. Two figures tumbled out of the building, one limping. It was Shiho and Tatsuo. Shikamaru gave her one last slow smile before putting his hands in his pockets and leaving her to walk solemnly towards his girlfriend.

Temari had one last thing to remind him of before he did anything he might regret. "I'm leaving soon." He stopped momentarily, and she saw the back of his head nod slowly before he carried on.

* * *

><p>Temari had left Tatsuo to see to his own wounds, and gone home alone. The two hours that she spent there were the longest hours of her life. She attempted to finish more of her final project but must have read the same lines twenty times without any of it sinking in. Her heartbeat never dropped below sheer panic and it was all she could do to stop from climbing the walls of her small apartment. She considered going for a run to calm her nerves but it was late at night and she was still in her dress. Her mind raced. She feared she already knew what Shikamaru had meant when he said he had to "talk" to Shiho, but still could only hope at what else he might have to say to her tonight. All she could do was wait.<p>

At last, she left her apartment to meet him. A little earlier than scheduled but she couldn't have waited a moment longer. She had to force herself to keep a walking pace through the village, with half a mind to race to him and half a mind to forget the whole thing and hope the earth would split open and swallow her up.

When she finally climbed the long steps to the roof of the hospital, he was already waiting for her. He was sat on the edge of the roof with his back to her. The ledge faced over the dark village towards the Hokage monument but he was slouched forward, his head bent such that he must have been staring at his feet. She didn't attempt to quieten her footsteps but he didn't turn to her even though he must have known she was there. The world seemed impossibly silent in that moment and her heartbeat shuddered through her whole body. She held her breath in fear and anticipation and took a seat on the ledge beside him.

"Hey," was his only word to her. His face was solemn and he remained staring down at his feet, not looking up to greet her. If he had looked upon her face just then, he might have thrown his arms around her and kissed her, and they wouldn't get any talking done at all.

"Hey," she replied. Her voice was calm and sweet, betraying the gentle nature underneath the abrasive mask she wore for the world.

He knew what he needed to begin with, but that didn't make it any easier to say. "I broke up with Shiho."

"Oh." Her tone implied that she felt as guilty as he did. Shiho had liked him for a long time, they both knew, and to give her a chance only to cast her aside again was brutal. The conversation had clearly hurt her deeply, but not as badly as if he had continued the charade. She was a strong person, and surrounded by friends. She would be OK.

"It wasn't fair on her," he explained. "I didn't really want her."

A cold winter chill filled the silences between their words. Temari seemed as reluctant to rush this as he was.

"Do you want me?"

"Yes." There was no point in denying it in any longer.

"But you know I'm going back to Suna." She might as well have said _you know you can't have me_.

"I know."

Silence again.

"You could come back with me."

She had worded it as though it was a possibility, but there was a quiver in her voice that sounded as though she was pleading with him to make it true. He hadn't dared to let himself consider it an option before. If he went home with her, he might never be able to tear himself away from her to come back to the Leaf. He sat in silence as she continued.

"Tsunade plans to send a summon to Konkuro and Baki to escort me home as soon as I finish my final project. But I'd rather have you."

The Hokage had always been keen for the two of them to work together in the past, and he could see no reason why she might object to a change of plan. Obtaining Tsunade's permission wasn't what he was worried about, though. "What if it doesn't work out?"

"Maybe it won't. Then we'll just have to grow the fuck up and get over ourselves," he could hear that she spoke through a tentative smile now, and couldn't help but join her in a tiny sliver of happiness. "But maybe it _will_ work out."

"Maybe it will," he agreed with a cautious optimism.

"I think it's worth finding out."

He gave a long sigh. She was right. Maybe it would all end in blood and tears but if they never ventured to try it, then they would never know. And he knew he would never be able to forgive himself for letting her leave. Not again. He put a hand to the cold stone of the ledge between them.

"I'm in if you're in," he offered.

Her hand moved to join his on the stone and she gently wrapped her fingers around his. The mere touch of her skin was enough to make him feel as though his ribcage was collapsing, his gut melting, his eyes prickling with salted heat.

"I'm in."

* * *

><p><em>This one was so much fun to write, and I hope you had as much fun reading it! <em>

_Yes, there's no smut in this chapter. It didn't feel appropriate here, so you'll have to wait until next week._

_Tatsuo was originally going to be agender, but I wrote them as male before publishing for two reasons. One - it was really hard to make it clear what was going on while using gender neutral pronouns (they/them/their) and Two - I didn't like the idea of the only gender-queer representation in the story to turn out to be - ironically - a total dick._

_Cosmic x_


	8. Breaking the Chains

It was a bright, clear morning and the ground was touched by a delicate frost which began to melt as soon as the sun shone across it. Shikamaru could see his breath in the air and the wall he leaned on was cold against his back. Daylight had not long broken but birds had already begun singing and some of the townspeople were already waking up and beginning their days. The bruises across his face were showing up swollen and purple now, but it was common to see shinobi with fresh injuries and no one looked twice at him waiting there outside the apartment block. On more than one occasion he had heard footsteps and looked up only to be disappointed. This time, however, he looked up to see who he had been waiting for her.

"Good morning," Temari said to him through her usual casual smile.

"Is it?" He mocked her, slinging his pack over his shoulder. "It's still far too early for it to be good, if you ask me."

He complained, but there was no malice in his heart. Truth be told, he was happier than he had been in a long time and he had been eager to begin his day, even arriving to their meeting place a little earlier than planned. He put one arm around her waist to pull her against him in a brief half-hug that would have appeared perfectly platonic had anyone been spying on them, then picked up one of her cases to share the baggage equally. She had packed light despite her long stay here, but they had a long way to go.

It hadn't been difficult to persuade the Hokage to let him escort her back to Suna. When Temari had first asked about having an escort from the Leaf take her home instead of waiting for Kankuro and Baki to arrive, Tsunade wasn't particularly pleased. After all, sending one of her own Shinobi as escort meant that she would have one less pair of hands in her workforce until they returned. But as soon as she mentioned that she wished to take the Nara boy with her, her attitude changed. "Take as much time as you need," she had smiled to them. "I'll send a bird ahead to Suna to let your brother know we won't be needing an escort from him."

Without having to wait for an escort to arrive from the Land of Wind, they were free to leave as soon as Temari's final project was completed. Actually finishing the damned thing, however, was harder than she had thought. She had been so excited about returning home, and with Shikamaru, that concentrating on her work proved near impossible. She had decided to work in the library in the hope that she would be able to concentrate better there, but Shikamaru disturbed her by bringing her lunch and hot tea. Eventually, it was completed, and she submitted her files to Tsunade who gave her a few scrolls for the Kazekage to take back with her.

By that time, it was already late in the day, and Shikamaru and Temari had decided to pack separately that evening and sleep alone in their respective beds, before meeting the following morning. It had been hard to fall asleep without her, but if it meant having her to himself throughout the journey, then it would be worth it. She didn't seem to be regretting her decision yet, so he would enjoy her good mood while it lasted.

They walked south, away from the Hidden Leaf Village and towards the southern springtime. Shikamaru was glad to get out of the village again. Had they not been weighed down by bags and had they not wanted the journey to go any quicker than it absolutely had to, he might even have wanted to run. It was very rare for him to be filled with excess energy (or any energy at all, for that matter) but something about being alone with Temari, and knowing that she wanted to be with him, made him feel more alive than before.

The road took them through pale, frosted hills and naked deciduous woodland. Even as they walked through daytime, and into the afternoon, the landscape changed little from that of the Leaf Village. It wouldn't begin to give way to forests and mountains until they reached the edge of the Land of Fire, but neither of the travelers were in too much of a hurry to get there. They had spent most of Temari's visit to the Leaf Village apart and now they each felt as though they had some catching up to do.

They were still cautious to touch, or speak to intimately. Showing affection was foreign territory for both of them, and learning how to manage it would take time. That night on the roof of the hospital, they had shared a little of their feelings for each other, but had mostly sat together in a comfortable silence under the stars. Neither of them wanted to leave the other and risk popping the perfect bubble they had built around themselves, so it had been the early hours of the morning before they had finally given into the brutal cold and retreated to Temari's apartment. Even then, they had shared a bed fully clothed and barely touched. After all, Shikamaru had only left his girlfriend mere hours beforehand, and a part of Temari was still scared of the power that he had over her. Everything was just too raw.

But now, in the light of day, things were beginning to make sense again, wounds were beginning to heal. Without the pressure of watching eyes in the Leaf, they could relax around each other and begin to tease and play-fight as they used to. Most of the journey they spent in comfortable silence, broken occasionally to speak of how things had been while they had been apart. Neither of them went into too intimate details, of course.

"I dreamed of you once," Shikamaru told her. The "_once"_ part was a lie, but she didn't need to know that. "At least, I think it was you. You didn't really have a face… so you were much prettier than usual."

"You ass!" She threw a fist at him in mock-anger at his insult, but softened just before her knuckles made contact so that it resulted in a friendly shoulder-bump.

"Alright, alright!" he cried out in faux-agony. "You look better with a face than without one. Will that sentiment convince you stop beating me?"

It was _almost_ a compliment, so she played along. "Oh, Shikamaru! Empty flattery with get you nowhere."

"Good thing I've got a body like this then, isn't it? This has got to get me somewhere."

She watched him draw his hands up behind his head as he spoke, flexing his muscular arms and letting his shirt lift up just enough to show a flash of bare skin across his abs. "I hate it when you're right, you smug sexy bastard."

* * *

><p>That evening, the travellers stayed in a small hostel in the south of the Land of Fire. They silently agreed to share a room, but their night was much the same as the last one they had spent together. This time they undressed down to their smallclothes to sleep, but still didn't venture into any intimate contact. This time around, they were cautious to rush into anything. Shikamaru wanted to allow their relationship to progress in the right order this time, and Temari felt as though she still had to prove to him that it wasn't just his body she was interested in. It was late, and they were each drifting in and out of a dream state, interrupted occasionally by words.<p>

"I'm sorry I said your sleep talking was creepy," she said to him. It was only a whisper but cut through the silence like thunder to his bones. "It's not creepy at all. I actually find it really cute. It's all gibberish of course, but still makes more sense than the shit you talk about when you're awake." She teased him, but he understood her meaning. Their fighting from the other night had still gone largely unanswered for. She was not the type to apologise lightly, so it meant a lot that she had brought it up again, out of the blue.

"I'm sorry I complained about your snoring," he returned her kindness. "I lied anyway. It isn't like a chainsaw. It's more like an adorable woodland creature."

She smiled at this and he saw the twinkle in her eyes that he remembered from their time together after his birthday. He kissed her then. Keeping his hands to himself, his lips touched hers, soft and slow. And it felt like home.

"I really like you," he told her. It was too early for any other words, despite how much he may have wanted to say them already.

"I really like you, too." _Does she feel it too?_

When at least they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer, she turned over to face away from him and he held her from behind. His arms around her body, he pulled her close to him and let his face rest against her neck, filling his lungs with that familiar smell.

It wasn't until the following day that they made it to the edge of the Land of Fire. Deciduous woodland gradually gave way to dark, evergreen forests, and the rolling hills began to grow into taller and more rugged. In the distance, white-capped mountains stood as sentinel on the horizon, announcing the border to the Land of Rivers.

They were due to stay in a village near the border. There was an old couple there who regularly housed travelling shinobi and Temari had stayed there a few times on her trips between Suna and Konoha. They must have been walking slowly though, and they were still a few miles off the village when the evening approached all too suddenly. They made a rest stop in a soup hut and resigned to completing the rest of the trip after dark.

They ate greedily, not pausing to speak, but sat bloated for a short time after their meal, taking the opportunity to rest while they could. They had already come a long way and Temari's feet were beginning to grow sore, though she wouldn't admit to it. She could feel herself becoming cranky in her tiredness, although the food had helped. If only they were already at the Hidden Sand Village, and they could curl up together after their evening meal without having to move again…

Shikamaru belched loudly and sat back in his chair, patting his belly. A few minutes later, she did the same but he narrowed his eyes at her.

"What?" She challenged him.

"Nothing."

"That look wasn't nothing."

"It's just…" something in his gut panicked as though he had accidentally started a fight over nothing again. He kept his voice steady and tried to diffuse it with sarcasm. "You're really attractive when you do that."

She returned his cautious smile, trying to keep the mood light despite the danger. "You did it, too."

"Yeah but…"

"If you're about to say "_but it's OK because I'm a guy"_ then we're going to have a problem."

He considered his next words carefully. "I wasn't going to say that."

"You were thinking it."

The last time they had been on the verge of argument, he had tried to weasel his way out of it and only ended up fanning the flames of her anger. They needed to get past that habit if he was going to survive the journey. He clasped his hands together and tried a new tactic. "Tell me why you think it's a problem that I was thinking it."

His angle made her think twice, but her answer was confident. "Because it's hypocritical. If you don't want me belching in front of you then that's one thing, but you can't expect me to hide it if you aren't prepare to do the same."

"Do you want me to hide it?"

"It doesn't bother me at all to see you do it. The point is that it feels as though you're holding me to different standards to the ones you set for yourself."

He nodded his head to her slowly, and put on the calmest tone he could manage. "Alright. Thank you for sharing your opinions so calmly."

"So how do we move forwards from here?" She met his steady countenance with her own.

"I will try to accept all of your disgusting bodily functions as a part of who you are."

"And I will be considerate of your hypocrisy until we both learn to overcome it."

They had spoken as though going through a scroll of terms and conditions but it had seemed to work out for the best. He let himself breath again.

"Wow," she smiled broadly to him, diffusing the awkward atmosphere. They had both expressed their feelings without anyone storming out or being injured. It had gone well. "Look at us, being mature about our feelings."

"That _was_ easier than fighting," he agreed.

"Yeah," she nudged him in the ribs. "Not as satisfying though."

"I hate your face," he told her, and received a splash of left-over soup to his lap for his joke.

"_I_ hate _your_ face more."

* * *

><p>It had been so late when they finally arrived at the border village and the two of them felt it may have been rude to ask the old couple for shelter at all. But they offered a good portion of the budget that the Kage had given them for accommodation and their hosts had been the epitome of generosity. The two of them were given separate rooms and were too polite to question it under the circumstances, but stole a goodnight kiss in the hallway before they slept.<p>

"I didn't know they were sending Shinobi couples out on missions together now," said their landlady over breakfast. They had put out a generous selection of steamed rice and vegetables, plus fish and omelette, knowing that their guests were expecting another long day of travelling.

Temari and Shikamaru glanced to each other. They had made a lot of progress together recently but still had not spoken about being officially together. "Oh, uhh…" they both spoke together, interrupting each other clumsily. "We're not a couple."

Their hostess was preparing a batch of onigiri for them to take when they left, but paused her work to give them both a suspicious look. "Mmhmm. Sure you're not. Don't worry, kids, your secret is safe with me."

"Are we really that obvious?" He asked her, when they had left the house and were safely out of earshot.

"Well, no one knows us out here. Does it matter?" She reached out to hold his hand. It felt strange but not wrong. None of villagers gave them a second look as they walked, and to show such an alliance in public without fear was quite liberating.

They were soon out of their village and headed across the border into the Land of Rivers. The landscape here was more coarse and jagged, with mountain peaks rising up all around them, surrounded by valleys carved by rivers over millennia. The colours here were different, the pale green of the Land of Fire left behind and replaced with greys and browns and purples. The land was on the brink of its springtime, and as the snow on the peaks was beginning to melt, the rivers between them coursing strong and wild. They passed few a few small villages on their way to their rest stop in Tanigakure, but in between the hamlets, they passed very few travellers on the roads. They felt alone with the mountains, and spoke freely.

"When we first met at the Chuunin exams…" Temari began, "I knew I hated you even back then." It was a form of compliment, in her own backwards, obnoxious kind of way. "I don't know what it was. There was just something about you that filled me with such an intense anger, you know?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru laughed. "I felt that too."

"And from the first day you caught me in your Shadow Possession… I don't think you ever really let me go." She clung to his arm then, sweetly, in a way that Ayame or Shiho might have done. But when he looked to her face, she was batting her eyelashes to him and he knew she was only playing a role. It was not the sort of thing she would ever wish to speak from her own mouth, but she could let it come from the mouth of an act.

"I know what you mean," he played along. "You ruined my life, too." She let go of his arm and smiled to him, but he carried on. "I won't say my life was perfect. But it all made sense, at least. I got my training done, and I did what my parents asked, I sat around watching the clouds… it all made sense. But then you came along." There was a powerful faux-scorn in his voice as he complained. "And suddenly my gut and my head were arguing all the time. I couldn't think straight. I've been able to make sense of everything all my life. But I could never make sense of you." He glared at her. "You ruined everything. In the most wonderful way possible."

* * *

><p>When they finally reached Tanigakure as night was beginning to fall, they decided to stay in a familiar inn. There was no discussion of it, simply a silent agreement. Nothing about the inn had changed at all but Temari and Shikamaru felt like two completely different people than they had been the last time they had visited. The same member of staff greeted them as had done the previous year but she didn't seem to recognise them until Shikamaru whispered something under his breath to her and she swapped his green key for a red one. Instantly, Temari knew that what this meant and she affectionately cursed his new found romanticism.<p>

They made their way down the familiar hall, this time without the rest of their squads to worry about. The room was much the same as how they had left it: two single beds and a view over the Land of Rivers. It felt like so much has changed since last year and Temari was almost about to become nostalgic until Shikamaru joined her at the window, holding her from behind, his arms around her waist.

They took the opportunity to shower separately before deciding to go out for dinner in the village, choosing the barbecue place they had been to with their squads when they had last come through this way. No one knew them here so they could be as publically affectionate as they liked, although it was still a strange pleasure to give in to. He ventured to kiss her on the lips while anyone could have seen, and she drew her fingers along his thigh under the table. They ate heartily, filling their bellies while they had the chance.

"Let me pay for it," Shikamaru demanded when they had finished. He knew she would protest and was not surprised to see her give him a look of aggravation.

"I'm perfectly capable of paying for my own food."

"Of course you are," he agreed. "But I _want_ to do nice things for you, and you should start letting me." She looked as though she wasn't convinced, so he continued though his eyes stayed fixed to the floor, not entirely sure why he was ashamed of his feelings. "I _want_ to buy you dinner. And to tell that you you're beautiful… and look after you when you're sick and protect you… and show you off to my friends, and kiss you all over and... and cum on your tits every day."

"That was… almost sweet." She admitted, unable to suppress the smile growing on her face. "Alright. You buy dinner if I can buy breakfast tomorrow."

"Close enough," he shrugged. "Stubborn woman."

They returned slowly to the inn and entered their room. With the door closed and locked behind them, they were alone in their bubble of solitude once more, and there was no question of whether or not they would be sharing a bed this night. They were both tired enough after their long day of travelling that it didn't take long for them to retire to bed. They went to the one that they had used on their first night together.

Shikamaru put his arms around Temari and took her in the first truly deep kiss that they had shared since leaving Konoha. It felt right, as though he had been waiting for this the whole time. She took off his jacket and he loosened her sash. They took off their shoes, never unlocking lips and he nudged her towards the bed but she resisted. At first, he thought she may have wanted to wait longer but that wasn't the case. She just wanted to look at him first. She unfastened her own kimono and let it drop to the ground around her feet, letting her body show in only matching black lace underwear. He took his sweatshirt and vest over his head in one smooth movement and she couldn't help but look at his body as he did so. This room was where they had been the first time she had caught a glimpse of the hair on his chest and it had left her speechless then. Now she knew it well, and it belonged to her. He was in good shape, the muscles of his torso well defined, and her memory projected a little scar tissue of her name written in the skin over his abs, concealed now by the trail of dark hair that ran from around his navel to underneath the edge of his trousers.

She took the buckle in her hands and pulled him towards her by his hips. He kissed her on the mouth then migrated his lips to her neck, his hands skimming the skin of her waist and back as she undid his trousers. He shuffled to help her push them to the ground and stepped out of them. Temari took in his full body with her eyes before wrapping her arms around him again and pressing her body against his. She lay her head against him quietly and he bowed his head so that his lips were just touching against the top of her shoulder. She could feel his breath stagger, his heartbeat racing, his erection pressing against the inner edge of her hip bone. That moment may have lasted forever.

She steadied her own breathing as well as she could that would allow her to inhale his familiar smell. Only then did she pull away to climb into the bed. He joined her and they lay beneath the covers together for a time, just pressing their slightly clothed bodies together. At last, she put her hand to the edge of his underwear and reached underneath them to wrap her fingers around the cock that she had missed so much. In return, he put his arms around her hips and squeezed into the flesh of her bottom. She raised one leg to rest a knee over the top of his hips and from here he could reach behind the top of her thigh to trace the edge of her labia through her underwear. He stroked his fingertips along the soft skin of her groin before slipping beneath her underwear to feel the blush of soft hair that lay beneath them. At last he pushed his fingers into the hot wetness of her sex and immediately felt her walls clench around him.

Her body was draped over his, her face nuzzled against his neck. Her lips made their way over the stubble of his jaw to his mouth and she kissed him there slowly, before pulling her head back again to look at him. It was dark, but she could see him looking up at her, his eyes glancing across her face before resting in her gaze.

"I missed you so much," her voice was barely more than a whisper. He responded by kissing her again and pushing against her shoulders, rolling her onto her back. They each slipped off what remained of their underwear and she parted her legs for him to lie in between them. He propped himself up on one elbow, his face so close to hers that she could feel his breath against her skin. He used one hand to position the tip of his erection at her slippery entrance and pushed himself inside her. He moved slowly, revelling in the strained noises she was making and the feeling of finally being back where he belonged. It was tentative and scary like their first time should have been, but her body tasted so familiar that it was almost as though they had never been apart.

He thrust inside her so slowly that she could feel every inch of him stretching her. His other hand was on her wrist now, pushing it down into the bed above her head. It was warm and steamy under the covers already and his body smelt delicious, his skin prickling with sweat. She felt a hand slide up her body, smoothing over her skin from hip to breast. Then another one, slipping around her thigh. And another, curling around to the small of her back and tracing her spine. It slowly dawned on her that these weren't hands at all. Shikamaru was sending his shadows to caress all inches of her body. She couldn't help but let some expletives escape her lips at the realisation. He slowed his touch and looked at her face, his nose almost brushing hers.

"You OK?"

"Yeah," she caught her breath. "It's just… new."

"You want me to stop?"

"No."

He kissed her again and suddenly his shadows were all around her, cuckooning her, supporting her in their embrace and touching her all over. One of them found its way down her belly all the way to her clitoris and she swore again. He looked at her face again, smiling this time, and she put her arms around his shoulders and pulled him down to meet her tongue. She kissed him with so much life and power and passion that he took the hint to speed up his movements and thrust himself inside her so hard that her body shuddered beneath him, her skin shivering where his shadows snaked around her toes, her neck, the soft skin of her inner arms, and that spot between her legs.

She pulled her knees up to wrap her legs around his body, her fingertips to digging into the skin of his back to pull him close against her so that she could hear his groans directly beside her ear. So much of her wanted this feeling never to end, but she had been without him for so long that she felt her body beginning to tense from within even sooner than she had anticipated. She tried to hold off the feeling, but between her lover's voice in her ear and his shadows all over her body, she soon lost the battle. She gasped as her body convulsed and clenched and drowned her in love and release.

He had felt her orgasm approaching from the way her moans changed pitched and her body tightening in the way he had dreamed about so often since they were last together. Hearing her quietly screaming beneath him and feeling her tight, wet walls rubbing against his hard cock was enough to make him come inside her, his body pulsing liquid from his body into hers and vibrating through his bones. He heard his own jaw crack and might have laughed were he not so overwhelmed by his release. Her body was still quivering under his touch and clenched again every time he made the slightest move against the skin between her legs.

He retracted all of his shadows but lay over her long after both of their orgasms had subsided. He was still inside her, just kissing her and enjoying her presence. Eventually, he felt himself begin to soften within her and their sweat was growing cool. But he couldn't bring himself to pull out yet. All he wanted was to stay as close to her as possible, to lay together as a single entity.

Finally, he pulled himself out of her and lay beside her in the bed. She touched herself, feeling herself dripping with his fluids.

"This has been my favourite day," she told him, curling an arm of his body to rest her head on his chest.

"Of the trip?"

"No," she felt him kiss her on the top of the head. "Just my favourite day."

* * *

><p><em>Sorry this one took so long to update! I haven't been in the zone at all and pretty much took two weeks off writing altogether then wrote this whole thing in one sitting. The next one should be much quicker.<em>

_It was difficult to get the feel of this chapter right, because there deserves to be so much tenderness here, but these are not tender characters at all. That said, it was a nice change of pace to be able to write about them being happy together after all of the drama they've gone through recently!_

_Hope you enjoyed._

_Cosmic x_


End file.
